Caption This!

Stall Baby

noreply@blogger.com (V the K) — Wed, 30 May 2012 13:00:00 +0000

Schneider

"Come back and let me murder you so I can enjoy my prom!"

Sperms of Walmert

noreply@blogger.com (V the K) — Wed, 30 May 2012 12:28:00 +0000

One shots, 'cos I'm so goshdarn busy 

Unsurprisingly, the old c--t at the door let them right in.

Not so Fresh

noreply@blogger.com (V the K) — Wed, 30 May 2012 08:00:00 +0000

Schneider

(One shots happen when full-time work collides with part-time captioning) 

The exact OPPOSITE sensation from biting into a York Peppermint Patty.

Bill Lumbergh... Twink!

noreply@blogger.com (V the K) — Wed, 30 May 2012 00:23:00 +0000

Before he got his job at Initech, Bill Lumbergh got his start as a boy-toy for "the Bobs."

Can a Lesbian Change Her Spots?

noreply@blogger.com (V the K) — Tue, 29 May 2012 11:56:00 +0000

"Hello, Cox Cable? The reception on the Lesbian Make-Out Channel is a little spotty."

Angry Bieber

noreply@blogger.com (V the K) — Tue, 29 May 2012 10:08:00 +0000

1. The Ghost of Christmas Past eventually had to give up because Bieber just didn't give a sh-t/
2. "Sorry, Justin, but you died from that bitch-slap. I am here to help transition you to the Afterlife."
3. Bieb seethed at his agent, "I don't care who this 'Barney Fag' is, I won't waive my fee for his wedding, and I definitely won't perform naked and greased for anyone but European royalty."
4. "No, JB, the purple shoes don't make you look ghey. Everything you have ever done in your entire life makes you look ghey."
5. "Sorry, Marilyn Manson, I don't have any spare change."

Disrespectful Memorial Day Post

noreply@blogger.com (V the K) — Mon, 28 May 2012 14:01:00 +0000

Seriously, what else do you expect from a sick intercourse and second-rate pornographer?

Metaphor Alert

noreply@blogger.com (V the K) — Sat, 26 May 2012 22:53:00 +0000

Best of Acebook:

The meeting of the Democratic National Committee will now come to order..."
Don't you wish we were in Desk Drawers in the Oval Office?
Scoot over! You're crowding me!!!
Hillary had such a bad hair day she had to go and hide...
"Amateur," sniffed Andrew Sullivan.
‎"Enough is Enough! I have had it with these muthuf--king snakes in this muthaf--king culvert!"

There! Are! Four! Lights!

noreply@blogger.com (V the K) — Fri, 25 May 2012 16:44:00 +0000

1. "So, you wanna marry my daughter Kim?"
2. "I ask you again Mr. Picard, how many jobs did Obama create or save?"
3. Inside the liberal mind: Being hung by your arms with your balls in a vise and a Cardassian pain device (or car battery) strapped to your nipples overnight is exactly the same as having water poured on your nose for two minutes.
4. "Get that grin off your face, Picard... Great Maker! I haven't seen a Star Fleet officer enjoy an anal probe so much since I interrogated Mr. Sulu."
5. Seth Macfarlane could be a real hardass when it came time to renegotiate contracts for voice work.

Old Dirty Bastard

noreply@blogger.com (V the K) — Fri, 25 May 2012 10:36:00 +0000

1. Clinton, unfortunately, did not recognize the Italian words for 'Tranny Surprise.'
2. "Why, that would be the second prettiest blue dress I've ever come across."
3. "I always loved Hillary's leftovers; good thing she never learned how to cook."
4. The power of three; three whores, three lamps, three-horned billy goat.
5. Not really a caption, but isn't Bill Clinton kind of the William Shatner of American politics?

BTW, IMHO, Brett Kimberlin is a horrible individual.

Yes! Yes! Yes!

noreply@blogger.com (V the K) — Thu, 24 May 2012 13:00:00 +0000

The Brigade

Yes! You may tell me about Ron Paul or The Watchtower or Energy Star windows or whatever the heck else you want!!

Hot and Wet

noreply@blogger.com (V the K) — Thu, 24 May 2012 06:30:00 +0000

Zombeh On The Beach

noreply@blogger.com (V the K) — Wed, 23 May 2012 12:42:00 +0000

Schneider (Sorry guys. I got craziness at work, so you gotta take this one)

Super Duper

noreply@blogger.com (V the K) — Wed, 23 May 2012 01:41:00 +0000

So, This Your First Time in Lock-Up?

noreply@blogger.com (V the K) — Tue, 22 May 2012 11:13:00 +0000

1. The only thing worse than the Blue Screen of Death is the Blue Wall of Ass-Rape.

2. The Fire Island Glory Hole Attendant removes another 'Stuckee.'

3. "Let's shock those Westboro Baptists with a graphic display of our love. And I do mean Graphic! So, drop 'em!"

4. "Now, squeal! Squeal!" Hazing was rough at Ned Beatty High.

5. "Always in a hurry. You never wanna cuddle. What about my needs?"

Best of Rodney Dill
I see Penn State is still looking for replacements for Paterno.

Best of loveseat sleeper
Astonishing work! This is the type of information that should be shared all across the internet.

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
Dancing with the Stars... in juvie.

Best of blue
we'll finish this in 3 minutes in the bat cave

Best of Dr. Doom
Dodgeball in San Francisco - you really don't want to be out...

But He Loves Wheat Thins!

noreply@blogger.com (V the K) — Tue, 22 May 2012 07:07:00 +0000

SRSLY, I missed the part in the New Testament where Jesus tells his disciples to carry signs around and hate people.

1. "So, by implication, you guys are presuming that God Loves Douchebags?"
2. "OK, mom I held up your sign so you can get on the Today Show. Can I get some ice cream now?"
3. Once again, Timmy the Tiniest Twink taunts a H8r into shame with his cutting fashion critiques.
4. Billy stared at the grass and asked himself, "Is this really what I want to do with my life?" The next day, he signed up for soccer camp and was kicked out of the WBC.
5. "You Westboro Baptists make me puke! ... Oh, wait, you're a Muslim? Oh, never mind, then. Hate all the fags you want."

Best of Rodney Dill
"This the guy that came in the PEDO suv?"

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
The irony of the situation wasn't lost on the commander of a passing alien spacecraft whose scanner just identified a group of humans ripe for probing.

Best of dadoctah
You know what God *really* hates? Parents who send their kids to stand in the street holding signs they can't even read just so they don't miss two-for-one happy hour.

Best of Steve O
The anti-tobacco lobby is SO misunderstood.

Mondays with SCOAMF; featuring M'Chel and Prancer

noreply@blogger.com (V the K) — Mon, 21 May 2012 16:30:00 +0000

Shayne

1. M'Chel: "Good Lord, you guys. Keep it in your pants 'til you get to Man's Country."
2. "Just tell Liz Warren it's no big deal; all Democrats are expected to lie about their origins. (Wink.)"
3. I don't wanna say the FLOTUS's ass is big, but somebody's projecting an 88MM print of Tim Burton's The Nightmare Before Christmas on her backside.
4. "And the safety word, as usual, will be 'Viva Che!'"
5. "And what dreary little village are we in today?" M'Chel moaned, already thinking about he post-election getaway to the Italian Riviera.

Best of blue
Mr President, why do you always bring HER on our dates?

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
Think of all the poor ants who paid to see an IMAX movie and got this instead.

Best of Dr. Doom
No longer content to merely bow before foreign dignitaries, the President has begun kissing them on the lips...

Best of Dactyl
NO! No more Asian men! Barry, you're going to ruin your appetite.

Best of prince of leaves
"No tongue!!!" screeched Michelle.

Best of Kaptain Krude
Isn't it embarrassing when you're the shortest of the 3 men?

Best of GregMan
"Thank you SO much, Barry, this will go great with a nice Chianti and some fava beans!"

Let's Cuddle

noreply@blogger.com (V the K) — Mon, 21 May 2012 10:30:00 +0000

1. "Dayum," thought Oprah. "My best couch... slaughtered and skinned."
2. M'Chel comforted Oprah. "That's OK, no one's ever beaten me in a 'nastiest queef' showdown."
3. The Giant 'Munge We Can Believe In' Banner' was an inspiration to all leftist women... well, mostly the ones in comfortable shoes.
4. Have you ever heard a steel folding chair groan audibly?
5. The Kilngon and the Billionaire, coming this Fall on the CW!

Best of metalgarth
ATABHE*

*and then Al Bundy's head exploded

Best of metalgarth
Hopefully, Chewbacca didn't use the Falcon's nav computer to download this "wookie porn".

Best of dadoctah
"Now if Tony Orlando ever gets here, we can start the reunion concert."

Best of JohnS1959
"Oh Oprah - I was hoping you were going to take the audience to Australia again. I could use a vacation!", opined the First Lady

Seen in the Parking Lot at the ACLU

noreply@blogger.com (V the K) — Sat, 19 May 2012 18:38:00 +0000

Divine Miss M

I am only surprised this plate was issued in California and not Massachusetts. More Bad License Plates @jalopnik

Another Frakking Idiot for the Frakking Idiot

noreply@blogger.com (V the K) — Fri, 18 May 2012 13:14:00 +0000

The Morons at Acebook finish the sign...

... from cheaper gas and lower unemployment
... from working, thinking, and being responsible.
... from President Biden

Best of Jack Reacher
...from a serious foreign policy and workable energy policy.

Best of joshua
...from listening to democrats and their media minions complain about Guantanamo, rendition, and secret assassination squads.

Best of prince of leaves
I guess this means Team Obama has now written him into the backstories of the Marvel Universe.

Best of Rodney Dill
Must've already saved the cheerleader

Best of Spin
... not to mention money on my car insurance too!

Best of Kaptain Krude
...and redeems it for valuable coupons!

Best of Dactyl
And by the way, has anyone seen my sunglasses? I can't find them anywhere.

Best of GregMan
...from THE JOOOS!

Best of Kaptain Krude
"I'm in becau-...that's funny, I can't seem to find my Old Navy bag around here anywhere."

blah blah blah Dawn's head blah blah blah kerplodes blah blah blah...

Another Idiot for the Idiot

noreply@blogger.com (V the K) — Fri, 18 May 2012 12:57:00 +0000

Best of the Morons at the Acebook:
1. "Look, a squirrel!"
2. "LOOK! FREE SHIT!"

Best of Someone's Gonna Say It Anyway
3. "Aieee! Gonjira! And she's wearing a dress made of upholstery!"

And so on...
4. "Look! A fat white dude who 'Wants Woman!' Over here, white guy! I'm Ready to Go!!"
5. Honey, according to the arrow on your sign, 'Forward' ain't the direction you're pointing.

I Feel Pretty....

noreply@blogger.com (V the K) — Thu, 17 May 2012 09:17:00 +0000

The Brigade

Farm Fresh Melons

noreply@blogger.com (V the K) — Thu, 17 May 2012 09:16:00 +0000

El Brigado

Wening The Fuchur

noreply@blogger.com (V the K) — Thu, 17 May 2012 02:47:00 +0000

Sondrakistan

Specifically, he belives he'll have another double bacon cheeseburger.

Best of Cat Whisperer
Bill O’Reilly’s brother-from-another-mother is “Going to do it Be Live!”

Best of metalgarth
I Be Live
You Be Live
We Be Live
20% of Obama Voters Be Dead

Best of Rodney Dill
(other side)
Not Memorex

Best of Dr. Doom
"Now I be live. Later I be dead", said Marcus, "But in between I want lots of free stuff..."

Buffett with a Big Paddle

noreply@blogger.com (V the K) — Wed, 16 May 2012 14:41:00 +0000

Brender

1. Hey! No fair playing with Rosie O'Donnell's marital.
2. At least, he never has to worry about being up Big Sh-t Creek.
3. I always wondered how that Star Trek game of Pareesi's Squares was actually played.