Monday, June 30, 2014

New Text Speak: LOUTSLMAO (Leaning on Union Thug's Shoulder Launghing My Ass Off)



1. "And then he asked me 'How's Hillary's head?' and I said, 'Not nearly as good as Michelle's' You shoulda seen the look on the poor dumb bastard's face. Priceless."

2. The annual meeting of "Clinton Gropes Interns" was a raucous affair.

3. "And then she said, 'We were dead broke when we left the White House...'"

4. "But seriously, Mr. President, what do you think of Jeb Bush's chances in 2016?"

5.  Replacing Obama's teleprompter speech with the complete script of "Duck Amuck" yielded hilarious results.

21 comments:

Anonymous said...

Dog's Willie shaken on fire hydrant

Anonymous said...

Rubes never cease to amuse the goons

Anonymous said...

"Imagine a thumb," Monica once said, which explains Trumpka's visual appeal to Billy Jeff.

Anonymous said...

Hillary, queen of the no-show jobs, cements their friendship along with countless bodies...what a coincidence!

Submariner said...

"...so Hil whips it out and PROOVED she was hung better'n Barry..."

Submariner said...

...so I says "Boy; bring a real president a cup of coffee an' a intern..."

Submariner said...

ORA to non-monors:

...and then Dawn's head exploded!

Submariner said...

That's when I said "Rectum?!? I only affered her a cigar!"

Anonymous said...

AFLACK-I-OWE Employee Insurance is formed

Mr Hankey said...

The reaction to the question from Fox News on "can we trust that our viewers concerns are being taken into consideration?"

Anonymous said...

Two virtual humans shill for CGI. "Who are you gonna believe, us or your lying eyes?"

Mr Hankey said...

I can't believe they just spoon-fed these idiot voters another social issue that walks Hillary in the office. Maybe we can get them to bring up school prayer again!!

Dr. Doom said...

"So then I said, this ain't no right to work state honey, you gotta pay to play - now get to work," chortled the President...

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Willie: Stop it, you're killing me!
Trumka: Not me, Bill, that'd be our Dues Collections Department.

-OR-

Willie: Stop it, you're killing me!
Trumka: Y'know, most people who say that to us are speaking literally.

-OR-

Willie: Stop it, you're killing me!
Trumka: That phrase never gets old in my circles.

-OR-

Trumka thawtbubble: Jeez, a male slut who laughs uncontrollably at his own knock knock jokes. Get me outta here!


Mr Hankey said...

....get it? I was in an "Intern Union"!....I'm so dang funny. Who brought these blue folders?

Anonymous said...

Inspired by ghouls Kennedy and Dodd, a shop stewardess sandwich breaks out between frauds

Anonymous said...

BJ and the Guerre, a new buddy comedy that promises to hurl you through the theater's plate glass window and molest your girlfriend.

Anonymous said...

Two escapees from the island of Dr. Moreau, Pig Pecker and Hog Snout, reminisce about troughs both global and parochial.

Anonymous said...

"Which creature has a voice unheard of and yet is four-footed and two-footed, who foots all our bills?"

dadoctah said...

Bubba demonstrates here how you can unobtrusively wipe a booger on someone's shoulder.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Things you did not know #9170:
Slick Willie was on Letterman's Stupid Human Tricks. In case you're wondering, yes, he inhaled.