Wednesday, January 15, 2014

Meanwhile, on a Bridge in New Jersey


1. "Yeah, Clarence ain't coming. He said the world would be better off if neither one of us had been born."

2. Once again, Chris Chreosote blocks two lanes of bridge traffic.

3. "Yes, this is Sh-t Creek. And neither one of us brought a paddle."

4. What a horribly missed opportunity for a 'Space Mutiny'-style rail kill.

5. "Look, instead of going to all this trouble, why don't we just see if Hillary weighs the same as a duck?"

Best of chronos the wonder pig
In the Dinner Theatre version of Get Shorty, Fat Man as Chili Palmer gets ready to push Little Boy as Bo Catlett over the railing.

Best of chronos the wonder pig
    "Hey Barry, are the rumors that you prefered older white men at Man Country true?"

Best of Jay Guevara
    "I wish I could quit you."

Best of jimmy
Christie (to himself): "One good shove and I'll manage to be Public Enemy Number One, AND the most popular man in America. Has anyone ever managed to do THAT?"

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
    Barack, you idiot, why meet here? Have you seen the load limit for this bridge?

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
    CC: Sorry I'm late, I had to drain the lizard.
    BO: Good grief, this was a dry stream bed a few minutes ago!

Best of of
    The media sees Officer and a Gentleman; to anyone else it's Thelma and Louise.

Best of Best of
    Bitch Cassidy and the Lardass Kid

Best of chronos the wonder pig
    "I'd push you over Mr President but Joe Biden scares me....."

26 comments:

chronos the wonder pig said...

In the Dinner Theatre version of Get Shorty, Fat Man as Chili Palmer gets ready to push Little Boy as Bo Catlett over the railing.

chronos the wonder pig said...

MegaFlicks and MiniFlicks realize that when it comes to NYC they are just Bridge People.

chronos the wonder pig said...

Barry waits for the staff to touch him.......

chronos the wonder pig said...

Sorry Barry, the the Italians here in Jersey said to kiss you full on the lips........

c said...

"Say Chris, you're connected...why was there a bleeding horse head in my bed this morning?"

chronos the wonder pig said...

"You're right Chris, this is Exit 69 Big Beaver Rd and for the life of me I don't know why that's funny!"

chronos the wonder pig said...

"Hey Barry, are the rumors that you prefered older white men at Man Country true?"

chronos the wonder pig said...

"You know Chris, I've always wondered why Ray Bradbury gets all the hot chicks!"

chronos the wonder pig said...

"You know Chris, Chronos the Wonder Pig said he'd vote for you if V the K picked one of his entries as an Instant Winner...."

chronos the wonder pig said...

ORA
The Festrunk brothers wait where the girls with the large American breasts said they'd meet them.

Dr. Doom said...

Ang Lee's remake of A Bridge Too Far was truly nauseating. It got two thumbs... Well trust me you don't want to know about the thumbs...

chronos the wonder pig said...

a Bridge over the River Kwai joke is here somewhere

Jay Guevara said...

Brokeback Bridge.

Jay Guevara said...

"I wish I could quit you."

Jay Guevara said...

"Barry:" Is it true your Moochelle's father?

jimmy said...

Christie (to himself): "One good shove and I'll manage to be Public Enemy Number One, AND the most popular man in America. Has anyone ever managed to do THAT?"

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Barack, you idiot, why meet here? Have you seen the load limit for this bridge?

-OR-

Oh, a clandestine meeting? I thought you said a clementine meeting... I brought a whole crate of 'em in my trunk.

-OR-

Oh no, Chris, you can't trick me twice with that "I dropped my wallet" prank. You jump in first this time!

-OR-

A Bridge To Nowhere, brought to you by Hope, Change and Scandal.

-OR-

Moby Dick II The quest for the great white whale.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

CC: Sorry I'm late, I had to drain the lizard.
BO: Good grief, this was a dry stream bed a few minutes ago!

-OR-

BO: Dayam, that river stinks.
CC: heh heh Yeah, we don't exactly treat sewer water here in NJ like they do at Blue Plains.

Anonymous said...

The media sees Officer and a Gentleman; to anyone else it's Thelma and Louise.

Anonymous said...

Après nous, le déluge.

Anonymous said...

Bitch Cassidy and the Lardass Kid

Anonymous said...

Conmen ready to swindle another rube into buying a bridge

Anonymous said...

We'll choke the rivers with their dead!

chronos the wonder pig said...

Simon & Garfunkel puzzling over the name & lyrics for a new song:
"Like a span over boiling waters..."
"Like an overpass over swirling waters..."
"Like a viaduct over raging waters..."

"Gee Artie, nothing seems to work, maybe we should rewrite it to be about Obamacare!"

chronos the wonder pig said...

"I'd push you over Mr President but Joe Biden scares me....."

Submariner said...

Jay Guevara said...
Brokeback Bridge


Naw, just a broken bridge...