Tuesday, January 07, 2014

Grab


1. Where will you be when your butt-plug slips out?

2. "Remember that time Rosie O'Donnel sang the National Anthem? That was, um, awesome." 

3. Years after meeting Hillary, the SCOAMF still felt phantom sensations from his missing jewels. 

4.   "I'm bad... um... I'm bad... I... um... know... it... sh'mon..." 

5. When ever the SCOAMF needs a pick-me-up, he just sniffed the piquant aroma of his own farts from off his fingertips.

Best of Submariner
    SCOAMF thawt bubble; "Wrecking balls chafe? Who'd have guessed?"

Best of Dr. Doom
    "Damn White House windows," groused the President...

Best of dadoctah
    Well-known fact: When you finally give up smoking, some other habit often takes its place.

Best of curly
    “Damn! Michelle, who made the Obama Kool-Aid this morning?”

Best of Kaptain Krude
 What Marilyn Monroe on the heating grate would have looked like if she had been wearing a suit instead of a dress...
    and male...
    and black...
    and incompetent...
    and a liar...
    you know, maybe that isn't the best comparison, after all.

Best of Dr. Doom
"That does it," thought the President, "Matthews is getting dentures before my next speech..."

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
    Obamalama Thawtbubble: Don't care what the press says, I'm only riding girl's bikes from now on!

Best of chronos the wonder pig
    It's just a jump to the left.
    And then a step to the right.
    Put your hands on your hips.
    You bring your knees in tight.
    But it's the pelvic thrust
    That really drives you insane.
    Let's do the time-warp again.


22 comments:

Submariner said...

♫ Gotta go; gotta, um, go; gotta go; uh, right now; Gotta, um, go; gotta go, uh, ♪
um gotta, um, never mind.

Submariner said...

♫ the knee bone's connected to the, uh, thigh bone. ♪
♫ the thigh bone's connected to, uh, the hip bone. ♪
♫ the crotch bone's connected to, um, uh, ♪
Holy crap! There ain't NOthing connected to, um, my crotch bone!

Submariner said...

Thawt bubble; "I should have stood up to her and MADE her let me take my penis. Hell, I'm the POTUS for Gaia's sake! Even Emmanuel gets to bring his to Man Country. I never should have talked to that blond at the funeral with the Wookie watching..."

Submariner said...

SCOAMF thawt bubble; "Wrecking balls chafe? Who'd have guessed?"

dadoctah said...

In the Garden of Eden lay Adam,
Complacently stroking his madame.
And great was his mirth,
For in all of the earth,
There were only two balls. And he had 'em!

Dr. Doom said...

"Damn intern gave me crotch rot," thought the President, "I'll have to ask Barney where he gets his interns
..."

Dr. Doom said...

"Damn White House windows," groused the President...

dadoctah said...

Well-known fact: When you finally give up smoking, some other habit often takes its place.

curly said...

“Damn! Michelle, who made the Obama Kool-Aid this morning?”

curly said...

“…I don’t care if he’s my biggest supporter or not, this is the last time I ever try one of Reverend Al’s ‘scientific concoctions’!”

Kaptain Krude said...

What Marilyn Monroe on the heating grate would have looked like if she had been wearing a suit instead of a dress...

and male...

and black...

and incompetent...

and a liar...

you know, maybe that isn't the best comparison, after all.

Submariner said...

ORA

I made water in my pants...

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Unofficial Threadwinner ->> SUBBY for Wrecking ball chafing


Where will YOU be when your need for Depends® kicks in?

-OR-

A Perfect Storm - Rose Garden sprinklers come on, a deliveryman tips over a full hand truck full of bottled water and the black White House butler starts singing "Ol' Man River."

WordVerify: fetyply - toilet paper as thick as a 2x4

Carpe Phlogiston said...

O's Thawtbubble: Why are the paparazzi snickering? OMG! I'm doing my little black dress squiggle again, aren't I? Damn Chel's roleplay switch games!

Dr. Doom said...

"That does it," thought the President, "Matthews is getting dentures before my next speech..."

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Obamalama Thawtbubble: Don't care what the press says, I'm only riding girl's bikes from now on!

-OR-

Dammit, she got herself a longer shovel!

-OR-

Secret Service Prank
While Obamalama slept, agents subliminally implanted a hypnotic command to walk funny whenever he hears a bell.
DING

Submariner said...

Post Putin Palaver Posture

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Popular new dance in da hood...
Walk Like An Obamalama

-OR-

White House Guard - How's it hanging, sir?
O squeal - Caught.Zipper.Again!!!!
Secret Service agent in CCTV monitoring center - BLUE Glove Alert... POTUS Penis, South Side... again

metalgarth said...

Shoulda put on a new pair of Depends!

Submariner said...

ORA

"Get 'im, girls; he hit Buddy!"

Submariner said...

Kid; "They said you were hung..."
Obamalama; "And they would be, uh, um, it's here somewhere... Uh, wrong."

chronos the wonder pig said...

It's just a jump to the left.
And then a step to the right.
Put your hands on your hips.
You bring your knees in tight.
But it's the pelvic thrust
That really drives you insane.
Let's do the time-warp again.