Monday, January 13, 2014

10 Upcoming Gaffes from Biden's Trip to Israel for Ariel Sharon's Funeral


1. Is offered tour of Wailing Wall. Asks where the whales are.

2. Asks his host "Where can a guy get a good cheeseburger around here?"

3. "So, you guys are basically 'European' when it comes to groping women, right?"

4. During Eulogy, invites Sharon to "Stand up and let 'em see ya."

5. "Thank you, thank you. I gotta tell ya' it's really great to be in Indiana again..."

6. Asks to see the Tomb of Baby Jesus.

7. "So, I hear thi Sharon fella was a Tank Commander. Did he know Mike Dukakis?"

8.  "Hey, what's with the black beanies?"

9. "So, when can I meet that 'Don't Mess with the Zohan Guy?'"


10. "Some of my best friends are you people."


Best of chronos the wonder pig
    "Barry wants to know why you are still on the map....."

Best of GregMan
    "So do you Joos really run the world? Can you get me a pony?"

Best of Jay Guevara
    Asks to see the original "Protocols of the Elders of Zion."

Best of dadoctah
    "With Sharon gone, Ozzy must be devastated."

Best of Submariner
    Asks his host; "Where's the best restaraunt for bacon wrapped shrimp in Tel Aviv?

Best of Submariner
    During eulogy notes he's on his best behavior because doesn't want to offend "you people who REALLY crucify your opponents!"

Best of Dr. Doom
"And you should probably bring a covered dish," instructed the President, "If you are fast enough you can probably grab some of Michele's baby backs and sauce. Just toss 'em in one of those platinum chafing dishes you keep on Air Force 2. But make sure you get the dish back, you know how those people are..."

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
    So where do I get me one of them little holy bald spot hiders? Yeah, yamikies! Do you have a glow-in-the-dark version in extra large?

Best of Steve O
    Remind them that Jesus was technically only HALF Jewish.

27 comments:

metalgarth said...

"KOSH'ER? I hardly know 'er!"

chronos the wonder pig said...

"Barry wants to know why you are still on the map....."

GregMan said...

"So do you Joos really run the world? Can you get me a pony?"

Jay Guevara said...

Asks to see the original "Protocols of the Elders of Zion."

Jay Guevara said...

Takes only baths, as he's heard bad things about showers.

dadoctah said...

"With Sharon gone, Ozzy must be devastated."

Submariner said...

Asks his host; "Where's the best restaraunt for bacon wrapped shrimp in Tel Aviv?

Submariner said...

Asks host to take him to see the Italian garden of "Guess-a-me."

Submariner said...

During eulogy notes he's on his best behavior because doesn't want to offend "you people who REALLY crucify your opponents!"

Submariner said...

"What's the big deal about the farting of the red sea?"

jimmy said...

"Hey, Bee-bee baby, can ya hook me up with that hot chick from Denmark? She's here, right?"

Steve O said...

"As you know, the Democrats have always liked you Jews, except for the fact that Israel is causing all the problems in the Middle East."

Steve O said...

"So, would now be a good time to talk about making some concessions? We're thinking along the lines of the pre-1967 borders."

Dr. Doom said...

"And you should probably bring a covered dish," instructed the President, "If you are fast enough you can probably grab some of Michele's baby backs and sauce. Just toss 'em in one of those platinum chafing dishes you keep on Air Force 2. But make sure you get the dish back, you know how those people are..."

Carpe Phlogiston said...

So where do I get me one of them little holy bald spot hiders? Yeah, yamikies! Do you have a glow-in-the-dark version in extra large?

-OR-

One more thing I'm dying to know... those Israeli Women-in-Uniform photo galleries I've seen. Are those chicks as hot as they look?

dadoctah said...

"While I'm here, any chance you'd be interested in hosting an upcoming Olympics? I'm sure the Russians would love an invite to your lovely country."

Submariner said...

I can't believe no monor took the low-hanging fruit:

A Joooo, a Methodist and a Muslim walk into a kibbutz, and...

Submariner said...

♪ Have a tequila! ♫
♫ Have a tequila! ♪
♪ Have a... ♫

Submariner said...

"So; can anyone hook me up with Ziva?"

metalgarth said...

I can't believe no monor took the low-hanging fruit:

Most monors tried to avoid low hanging fruits.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Ouch... subby's gonna need that cinder block cup.

dadoctah said...

ObChuyBravo: "How much does the challah cost?"

Submariner said...

Good thing I was wearing my Imam-approved concrete cup, Metalgarth. Course it still hurt all the way around it and I'm speaking like Minnie Mouse...

Dr. Doom said...

"I spy with my little eye... something black," intoned Mr. Biden...

Kaptain Krude said...

"So, uh, when do we heave the body on the wood thingy and start the bonfire?"

Steve O said...

Remind them that they killed Jesus.

Steve O said...

Remind them that Jesus was technically only HALF Jewish.