Tuesday, October 15, 2013
1. "Gee, Mrs SCOAMF, these cucumbers are almost as big as Hillary's clenis!"
2. "What! EBT cards have no limit at WalMart? F--k this sh-t, we goin' shoppin'!"
3.M'Chel, M'Chel, quite the belle, How does your garden grow? With silver bells, and cockle shells, And chalk-faced whores all in a row.
4. Mooch: "Where are the little boys at?" Chalk-Faced Whore: "Oh, the Safe School Czar said he was going to show them how he plants his seed."
5. "Don't you go flashing your raisins at me, white girl, that only works on Hillary."
Best of metalgarth
No, I ain't gonna tell ya where we grow our good shit so quit askin. Nome sayin?
Best of chronos the wonder pig
M'Chel picks her salad and her main course
Best of jimmy
"We don't need no damn seeds! Just pour more water on that dirt. I'm sure something will happen if you put enough water on it."
---M'Chel's gardening theories were virtually identical to her husband's economic theories.
Best of Carpe Phlogiston
David Attenborough whispers: A receptive howler monkey sits passively on her haunches waiting for... heyyyyy, wait a minute!
Best of Submariner
That's right, children; we'll use all these vegetables in the kitchen; except for those carrots, and that cucumber, and that zuchini, and that hook-necked gourd... I'll be taking those to the private quarters, to uh, make soup!
Best of GregMan
Sadly, the children did not see the signs that said, "Do Not Feed The Sasquatch", and were killed and devoured by the hairy, foul-smelling beast.
Best of Jay Guevara
Michelle derived great satisfaction from making white kids grow and pick cotton.
Best of Dr. Doom
"No honey that one isn't for diggin'", cried the First Lady, "That one is for eatin'..."