Monday, March 04, 2013

What the Hell Is That?


1. "All right, then, Vice President Biden... *you* pull my finger."

2. "Nope, it's not tuna. Smell my finger and guess again."

3. "We plan to build the Bitter Clinger Internment Camp right over there."

4.  "Mr President, stop staring at my fingertip and look at the thing I am pointing at!"

5. "Now, to fully satisfy the first lady's appetite would require a trough of french fries thirty meters long, about the distance to those bushes over there."


Best of Double the U
♪ ♪ Look over there! (where?) There goes Reggie and his new boyfriend...♪ ♫ ♪ ♫

Best of Submariner
The Obamessiah didn't get an "Amen!" from that fella over there!

Best of Joshua
John wakes up in the hospital. "Well, let's see. I remember pointing to the 3rd grader in the second row who had a difficult question for the President. Someone yelled 'GUN!' And, that's the last thing I remember."

Best of GregMan
"...and right THERE is where we'll put the marble statue of you, Mr. President, and next to that the gold statue, and next to that..."

Best of Artfldgr
Look! i think i see one more job you can crush!

Best of  Carpe Phlogiston
It's not your job, idiot! The teleprompter will be right there feeding you your lines. Stop ad libbing!

Best of  Rodney Dill
Third door on the left... you should've thought of that before you left.

Best of curly
"No Sir, you're wrong....Mecca is that way."

Best of  Steve O
"You didn't get a HARUMPH! out of that man right there."

26 comments:

Double the U said...

♪ ♪ Look over there! (where?) There goes Reggie and his new boyfriend...♪ ♫ ♪ ♫

Submariner said...

The Obamessiah didn't get an "Amen!" from that fella over there!

Submariner said...

You need to make an example of a media wog that doesn't kowtow? May I suggest Ed Henry over there?

Submariner said...

3.7 billion once...
3.7 billion twice...
last chance to bid on ownership of Maryland...
Ya bought it, Mr. Soros.

Submariner said...

>pssst<
Ya missed a fat wallet over there, Barry...

Submariner said...

Entitlement Cuts?
Entitlement CUTS?!?
Don't get stuck on stupid, Woodward. You'll regret it...

Joshua said...

John wakes up in the hospital. "Well, let's see. I remember pointing to the 3rd grader in the second row who had a difficult question for the President. Someone yelled 'GUN!' And, that's the last thing I remember."

GregMan said...

"...and right THERE is where we'll put the marble statue of you, Mr. President, and next to that the gold statue, and next to that..."

GregMan said...

"There's that damn boxer dog again!"

Artfldgr said...

Look! i think i see one more job you can crush!

Artfldgr said...

Him go that a way...

Artfldgr said...

Do i have to make you sit in the corner again?

Artfldgr said...

Damn, barney was supposed to float over here so we can do the Sistine chapel thing and i can be god...

Artfldgr said...

Sic Em! mr president...

Dr. Doom said...

"If you will look to your right Mr. President, you will see the scale model of the Colosseum where we will feed the entrepreneurs to the lions", explained the event coordinator, "Please remember to hold your thumb DOWN this time. We don't want a repeat of that whole bin Laden affair do we?"

Carpe Phlogiston said...

It's not your job, idiot! The teleprompter will be right there feeding you your lines. Stop ad libbing!

-OR-

Aeiiiii, Elmer Biden's chasing the podium stalking rat with his shotgun, again! DUCK Mr. O!

-OR-

Choreographing the 37th Woe Is Me Fest
After you pirouette and tap tap tap, the "victims" of the latest manipulated crisis will enter Stage Left.
Left? Isn't that our right?
It's our right, the audience's left.
Can we turn this stage around?
No.
Could they dance in from the other side?
No! Stop trying to interfere. It's not your job.

-OR-

Once more from the top, and when you scream, "The sky is falling!" do NOT point like this! Point UP.

Rodney Dill said...

Third door on the left... you should've thought of that before you left.

curly said...

"No Sir, you're wrong....Mecca is that way."

Submariner said...

Is that...
Could that possibly be...
If anyone knows what a "shovel-ready job looks like, would you let the Prez know if that IS one? We need a photo op to go with the speech...

jimmy said...

Well, Mr. President, there's *that* guy. I'm not sure if you've shifted blame for something onto *him* yet. I'd give it a shot."

Submariner said...

Start quick, yer eminence; blame the sequester on HER.

You only have 4 years to blame your problems on the outgoing Secretaries of Defence, State, Treasury...

blue said...

Look, the Dow is at an all time high - how are we going to continue to blame the economy on Bush?

Steve O said...

"You didn't get a HARUMPH! out of that man right there."

prince of leaves said...

"Look! THERE!" Ahmadinejad shouted abruptly, interrupting his prepared remarks. "It's the Twelfth Imam!!!"

Kaptain Krude said...

"Look! Over there! I think its... yes, I'm pretty sure it is... yes, I'm definite that it is THE RIGHT THING! Hey, where is it going? Come back, RIGHT THING, come back!"

But alas, this administration never knew the right thing again.

Kaptain Krude said...

"Good Heavens! I thought those monors at that horrid V the K's web site were only kidding about M'chel'l's eatin' shovel. But look at her go!"

Unfortunately, his last vision was of seeing a hungry M'ch'ell's gaping maw heading directly towards him.