1. "I dunno, John, it sure *looks like* a genital wart."
2. "Yup, crapped 'em again."
3. "Well, it's been four hours. We better take you to a doctor. (H/T TC @ Acebook)"
4. "No, not here... meet me in the old bat cave in five minutes."
5. "Oh, I see, it's like a penis, only smaller."
Best of Carpe Phlogiston
Cindy got me this lacy corset set for my birthday but the mofo garter straps are chafing me bad.
Best of Submariner
Sorry, John; Hillary's is MUCH larger...
Best of Submariner
"Heckuva scar; musta hurt when the Cong did that to you! Did you break?"
Best of kg
I'd show you mine, but I don't have one.
Best of GregMan
"Yeah, apparently we're supposed to have those things called 'balls' down there..."
Best of dadoctah
What exactly does Prince Albert have to do with it?
16 comments:
Cindy got me this lacy corset set for my birthday but the mofo garter straps are chafing me bad.
Oooch, that can hurt! Boehner loaned me his butt balm when it happened to me. Women ought to know our sizes better.
-OR-
Look, you distract him so I can steal his puddin cup. How's about I return the favor by voting for your earmark to dredge the Port of Charleston? We all know your Port Authority's slush fund could have covered the cost.
Sorry, John; Hillary's is MUCH larger...
v words - 4795 shostone, I guess he was...
OJA
So that's where the snake bit me. Can you suck the venom out?
You're gonna die...
"Heckuva scar; musta hurt when the Cong did that to you! Did you break?"
"It wasn't the Cong. I tripped over a rake running after some nasty little buggers in my yard and fell on top of my wineglass..."
"Heckuva scar; musta hurt when the Cong did that to you! Did you break?"
"It wasn't the Cong; I went hunting once with Cheney..."
"Well,Lindsey, you see there was this one time at Band Camp..."
Lindsey: "That's a nasty mark."
John: "I didn't hear the dang horn, when that cowboy passed me on the freeway."
"SNAKE BITE!"
Lindsey: "Hmmmpf... I didn't think there was any shrinkage in government."
I'm tellin ya. You should run for president in 2016. It's fun, lots of benefits. Don't worry about winning. You can lose to Biden just as easily as Jeb Bush.
I'd show you mine, but I don't have one.
"Yeah, apparently we're supposed to have those things called 'balls' down there..."
"Nope, mine is smaller than M'Chel's, too."
What exactly does Prince Albert have to do with it?
no, no, the colon tour starts on the other side!
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