Friday, March 22, 2013

Gigantic Asses


1. "Nice move, M'Chel, gutting Gordon Ramsey with your b'atleth." "Shut up, p'tagh, and help me eat his entrails."

2. "Thanks for the tour of the White House Kitchen, M'Chel. Why are there 101 Dalmatian carcasses in the meat locker?"

3. Big Bird: "Can you believe 51% of voters thought keeping me hip deep in Federal subsidies was more important than economic growth or sound fiscal policy?"

4. Big Bird: "My brother is a real bad-ass; he's kicked the sh-t out of Peter Griffin like half a dozen times."

5. "Wow! You sh-t in the sink too? So, do I?"



Best of Spineless Vertebrae
Big Bird: "This is a nice kitchen and.... why are you approaching me with that shovel?"

Best of metalgarth
Just curious M'Chel. Why did you want me to bring a huge bag of croutons and some gravy?

Best of dadoctah
"Bert and Ernie would never tell you this, but they're really pleased with your positive stance on their committed same-sex relationship. Just watch out for Elmo, because he's going to try to push for the same kind of acceptance of touching young boys."

Best of GregMan
"Am I mostly white meat or dark meat? Isn't it kind of racist to ask me that, M'Chel?"

Best of Dactyl
Which one of us is hallucinating, do you think?

Best of Kaptain Krude
Why do I have the feeling that M'Chel'l will have a new yellow feather boa to wear at the next Obama speech reading?

Best of prince of leaves
Cryptozoologists were excited by new photographic evidence proving the existence of both the Roc and Sasquatch.

19 comments:

Carpe Phlogiston said...

'Chel Thawtbubble: Julia Child's sure let herself go.

-OR-

Chicken: Stop whispering, "I likes fried chicken" cause you're scaring me!

-OR-

It's Ethnic Friday here at Che Vulgaire! Roast possum & pig jowls, stewed okra, cubed watermelon with a Brazil nut garnish. Oh, you know the nickname for Brazil nuts? Yeah, chef thought you might. He's Republican. Très subtile.

Spineless Vertebrae said...

Big Bird: "This is a nice kitchen and.... why are you approaching me with that shovel?"

Joshua said...

Big Bird: "I know you stopped giving tours, this really an honor. Wow, nice kitchen. Say, you knew I was an endangered species, right? I think maybe that's why Barack wanted to meet with me. You know, preservation of my species and making Sesame Street and the whole downtown urban area a habitat protection zone or something. Yeah, it would like limit economic development in that area and stuff like that."

metalgarth said...

Just curious M'Chel. Why did you want me to bring a huge bag of croutons and some gravy?

dadoctah said...

"Bert and Ernie would never tell you this, but they're really pleased with your positive stance on their committed same-sex relationship. Just watch out for Elmo, because he's going to try to push for the same kind of acceptance of touching young boys."

Joshua said...

Big Bird: "Say, can you explain that 'binders full of women' joke to me? I know it's something Romney said. But, I don't get why everyone on the left thinks it's so funny."

GregMan said...

ORA: "What do you mean, now I'm gonna pay for that joke at PyCon?"

GregMan said...

"Am I mostly white meat or dark meat? Isn't it kind of racist to ask me that, M'Chel?"

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Bird: heh heh heh Yeah, people tend to get those prepositions mixed up... being invited TO dinner vs. being invited FOR dinner. You meant "TO" right? Right?! RIGHT???

Dr. Doom said...

BB: "On Sesame Street, the letter for today is 'K'. Can you help me spell Kitchen Missus Obama?"

FL: "At the White House the letter for today is 'B'. Can you help me spell BBQ Sauce, Big Bird?"

chronos the wonder pig said...

"hmm, a vacation on Sesame street??
No, not even the tax payers can afoud that!"

Dactyl said...

Which one of us is hallucinating, do you think?

Kaptain Krude said...

Why do I have the feeling that M'Chel'l will have a new yellow feather boa to wear at the next Obama speech reading?

prince of leaves said...

Cryptozoologists were excited by new photographic evidence proving the existence of both the Roc and Sasquatch.

Dactyl said...

Mister Snuffleupagus, gender reassignment surgery, yadda yadda yadda.

Jack Reacher said...

"No, I'm the dietary adviser; Bert & Ernie are the economic advisers."

Dactyl said...

"..And I loved your cameo in the Muppet Movie."
"Thanks. You were great in Planet of the Apes, too."

ColoradoPatriot said...

"Obesity epidemic? No problem, really. Just mandate Americans eat their dinner with some gravel to aid in digestion. You guys have that sort of authority here now, right?"

Rodney Dill said...

"...and then Sir Robin nearly stood up to me... I got out of Bristol after that."
(ORA)