1. "I still can't believe HBO made a show about fat, dumb, promiscuous, overprivileged Girls and didn't invite Meghan."
2. "Dammit, laxative, kick in! Kick in, dammit!:
3. "There are punk kids in my yard, I just know it!"
4. "Let's see, what can I do to f--k over the party today?"
5. "Aw, f-ck, I was sure that was going to be a fart."
Best of Submariner
Almost lunchtime. Wonder if I have time to walk through the Inflatable Colon after this?
Best of Rodney Dill
Best of Jack Reacher
"No matter what this guy says, I'm not buying the extended warranty."
Best of dadoctah
ORA: "Four-thirty, time for Wapner...."
Best of Carpe Phlogiston
This reminds me of that Amway sales spiel Boehner tricked me into attending. Fancy charts, vague promises and misleading statistics... politics is a lot like MLM schemes.
Best of Scotty G.
"Okay Senator, now show us the "Maverick" face.
Best of jimmy
Scientists revealed today that they have discovered portals to 908,564 parallel universes. It was immediately noted that none of the parallel earths surveyed thus far had John McCain winning their version of the 2008 election, either.
Best of Joshua
After a rough week John was looking forward to participating in the Celebrity Dead Pool. But, it didn't make him feel any better when he discovered that someone had picked him.