Wednesday, February 20, 2013

The Princess and the Lunch Lady



1. Kate: "So, I should keep calm and try anal. Excellent advice, thank you."

2. Kate: "Trade places for a day? No, f-ck you!"

3. "... and the Andrew Sullivan huffed some spray paint and loudly proclaimed he was 'the Real Queen of England.' (Sigh)"

4. It was awfully nice of the Royal Family to give Soledad O'Brien a new job; of course, she sucked at that, too.

5. Kate thought her plan to keep Wills from shagging the help was foolproof; sadly, she overlooked the horsemen.


Best of blue
Well now your majesty, If you think Ray Bradbury is the father you better tell Wills now.....

Best of  GregMan
ORA: "I told you, we're an anarcho-syndicalist commune. We take it in turns to be a sort of executive officer for the week..."

Best of jimmy
Cook: "Well, there's Egg and spam. Egg, bacon, spam, and sausage. Spam, egg, sausage and spam. Spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, baked beans, spam, spam, spam, spam, and spam. Or--"
Duchess: "Have you got anything without spam in it?"
Cook: "Well, spam, egg, sausage and spam...hasn't got much spam in it..."
Duchess: "I don't want ANY SPAM!"

Best of prince of leaves
"You *ave* figured out they're all lizardoid aliens under them skin-jobs, yeah?" A horrified Kate begins to have second thoughts about her pregnancy.

Best of dadoctah
"Be honest. It's British food, so how good can it be, really?"

Best of Jack Reacher
"TB? Not a problem. I've been a lunger for years now, and I'm still workin' away in the kitchen."

Best of Submariner
'aven't 'ad a steak an' kidney pie is weeks? Well, mum, we 'aven't seen any 'oboes aroun' lately, 'ave we?

17 comments:

chronos the wonder pig said...

After the cook made the "bun in the oven" joke, Kate had her beheaded

blue said...

Well now your majesty, If you think Ray Bradbury is the father you better tell Wills now.....

Carpe Phlogiston said...

You are over that morning sickness stuff, right, cause I don'ts wants to be having to clean up no royal mess off'n dis floor!

-OR-

Explaining Droll British Humor
Oh, I get it, now... "bun in the oven." haha hah

-OR-

Advice not likely to be found on MedLine:
Where I grew up, you just squat in the field and push and out it comes.

-OR-

Trust me, Princess, couple more months and your little boobs will be so bloated they'll make you Thursday babeworthy... and that Carpe guy will complain.

GregMan said...

"If yer holds it like this while yer strokes it yer 'usband will be much 'appier..."

GregMan said...

ORA: "I told you, we're an anarcho-syndicalist commune. We take it in turns to be a sort of executive officer for the week..."

Kate almost immediately regretted asking the old woman how she was.

dadoctah said...

"Yes, Cinderella, you *can* go to the ball with your sisters. But first, you'd better finish making that meatloaf."

jimmy said...

Kinda ORA:
Cook: "Well, there's Egg and spam. Egg, bacon, spam, and sausage. Spam, egg, sausage and spam. Spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, baked beans, spam, spam, spam, spam, and spam. Or--"

Duchess: "Have you got anything without spam in it?"

Cook: "Well, spam, egg, sausage and spam...hasn't got much spam in it..."

{the Duchess throws up in a nearby bin}

Duchess: "I don't want ANY SPAM!"

prince of leaves said...

"I always figured Wills would one day come visit the royal kitchens, sweep me off my feet, and make me his future queen. Too bad he had to settle."

prince of leaves said...

"You *ave* figured out they're all lizardoid aliens under them skin-jobs, yeah?" A horrified Kate begins to have second thoughts about her pregnancy.

Dr. Doom said...

"And always remember mi'lady, you always want to wear your gloves when Sir Elton comes over. Oh and don't ever agree to help him find his hamster..."

dadoctah said...

"Be honest. It's British food, so how good can it be, really?"

Kaptain Krude said...

"Ye wan' to pu' a dash o' celery in there, and tha' will clean him righ' out!" Kate didn't have the heart to tell the helpful old fairy godmother that she didn't need to worry about that kind of thing anymore.

Kaptain Krude said...

"One does not simply marry into the royal family!"

Jack Reacher said...

"TB? Not a problem. I've been a lunger for years now, and I'm still workin' away in the kitchen."

Carpe Phlogiston said...

My dear woman, please don't be offended! I meant "scullery maid" in the nicest possible way. BTW, I love hair doodads... where did you get your blue veil?

WordVerify: ndoniga - result of black on black crime?

Submariner said...

'aven't 'ad a steak an' kidney pie is weeks? Well, mum, we 'aven't seen any 'oboes aroun' lately, 'ave we?

Submariner said...

Yes, Mum; I'll be 'APPY ta serve Will's fer ya 'til ya get's "back on yer game" after the birth...