Monday, February 18, 2013

Magnifying Stupid



1. And every time the SCOAMF fried an ant he muttered "drone strike" and chuckled "take that, bitter clinger."

2. Little Cindy Lou watched the SCOAMF futilely try to blow bubbles for 45 minutes and wondered "How did this fuctard beat Romney?"

3. "With this, um, magnet glass, you um, look like you have, um, tittehs."

4. "Mr President, your Sherlock Holmes impression would be more realistic if you ever actually found a clue."

5. "And with this magnifying glass, I can, um, see your chances for, um, a prosperous future. Nope, there it goes."


Best of Rodney Dill
So how's the hand held teleprompter working Mr. President?

Best of Double the U
...and I see Johnny and I see Suzie, and Debbie and there is Michael and Mark, and I see you all UNDER AN OPPRESSIVE GOVERNMENT THAT WILL CONTROL YOUR LIFE FOR YOUR OWN GOOD, GET USE TO IT, GET USE TO IT NOW!!!

Best of dadoctah
After the "Romper Stomper Bomper Boo" concept bombed, the next plan called for a puppet moose and rabbit to bury Barry in an avalanche of ping-pong balls.

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
Obamalama's Problemsolving Skills Metaphor
The lens is smudged? Here, let me fix that... hoccck sploooot! There ya go.
But it's still got sploooot all over it!
Hon, I did the hard part. You clean it up.


Best of sonicfrog
"Hmmmmm.... My skin looks too grainy this morning.... I wonder if there is something wrong with this mirror...."

15 comments:

Rodney Dill said...

So how's the hand held teleprompter working Mr. President?

Rodney Dill said...

Obama: "Wow your face is blown way out of proportion through this."
Girl: "Sorta like your opinion of yourself."

Double the U said...

...and I see Johnny and I see Suzie, and Debbie and there is Michael and Mark, and I see you all UNDER AN OPPRESSIVE GOVERNMENT THAT WILL CONTROL YOUR LIFE FOR YOUR OWN GOOD, GET USE TO IT, GET USE TO IT NOW!!!

dadoctah said...

After the "Romper Stomper Bomper Boo" concept bombed, the next plan called for a puppet moose and rabbit to bury Barry in an avalanche of ping-pong balls.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Little Girl's Thawtbubble - The fawning idiot says it's telling him he's the fairest one of all when it isn't even a freaking mirror!

-OR-

So, in order to cover the cost of 15 million illegals, I've scrapped NASA's Mars and Hubble programs and worked a deal so Ron Popeel will sell you kids this handy dandy pocket telescope for NOT $200, NOT $100, but only $39.95 plus s/h!

Dactyl said...

*sigh* yes, Mr, President, the booger is still there.

Rodney Dill said...

Golfing again? My daddy said you're always distracted by magni-vacation.

Rodney Dill said...

If you're trying to see your legacy shouldn't they be rose colored as well?

Steve O said...

"H-o-o-o-o-ome.
Home on the ra-a-a-a-a-age.
Where the dee-e-e-e-er and the antelope pla-a-a-a-ay..."

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Obamalama's Problemsolving Skills Metaphor
The lens is smudged? Here, let me fix that... hoccck sploooot! There ya go.
But it's still got sploooot all over it!
Hon, I did the hard part. You clean it up.

Dr. Doom said...

President: "See the economy isn't so bad after all"

Student: "Mr. Pwedident you are looking at the deficit and the magnifying glass is backwards..."

sonicfrog said...

"Hmmmmm.... My skin looks too grainy this morning.... I wonder if there is something wrong with this mirror...."

Dr. Doom said...

Mr. Obama: "I spy with my little eye... something blue"

Little Suzy: "Well it certainly isn't a clue..."

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Obamalama Thawtbubble: 'Chel always steals my glasses when I gets me a copy of SI's Swimsuit edition, but I outfoxed that shovel-wielding she devil this time!

Carpe Phlogiston said...

De Lusions of De Grandeur: Watch as I burn a hole in dis table with my own brilliance.