Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Standardized Tests and the People Who Love Them



1. "This is quite an impressive resume. What exactly is a "fluffer?"

2. "Now, sign here and your eternal soul is mine." "Yeah, whatever." Another young Democrat signs up for Obama for America.

3. "It's an urban myth that thumb size and dick size are proportional.Come into the locker room and I'll prove it."

4. "So, can V the K count on your vote for his internet award thingy?"

5. "Bob Dole's great grandchild doesn't need no stinkin' Viagra."



Best of Double the U
These speed dating things are awkward, Mike demonstrates his "skill" of being able to get his thumbs up his nostrils.

Best of Kaptain Krude
"Now, imagine that my thumb here is the size of the current debt. In four more years of Obamanomics, my thumb will have grown to be the size of... say, do you know who Ron Jeremy is?"

Best of technical translation services
Excellent website. Lots of useful information here. I am sending it to a few friends ans also sharing in delicious. And obviously, thanks for your effort!

Best of GregMan
"No, see, CapThis is a website, and it won this award, and... oh, hell, let's just go make out, OK?"

Best of Dr. Doom
"Let's see," reviewed the interviewer, "We got your unemployment benefits because you can't find work with your Women's Studies degree, food stamps, iPhone voucher, housing assistance, Obamacare card,... and now all I need is your birth control preference and I will be able to issue your DNC Lifetime Membership card..."

Best of prince of leaves
Tyler demonstrates his championship colon-toothbrush grip to an underwhelmed Sierra.

Best of Scotty G.
"So you're saying if I sign this petition, you get free birth control, and I don't have to wear a condom? Oh yeah!"

15 comments:

Double the U said...

These speed dating things are awkward, Mike demonstrates his "skill" of being able to get his thumbs up his nostrils.

Kaptain Krude said...

"So, now that I have your full attention, have you heard the Good News about RON PAUL!!!"

Kaptain Krude said...

"Now, imagine that my thumb here is the size of the current debt. In four more years of Obamanomics, my thumb will have grown to be the size of... say, do you know who Ron Jeremy is?"

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Aspiring State Dept. interns practice negotiating skills at the Hillary Clinton School of Appeasement.
"So, Somalia, if I give you 5 things from this list, you'll pretend to be a democracy? How's about I throw in all 25 of them just to seal the deal?"

-OR-

"I'm not signing until I speak with an attorney, Courtney"
Ernie's no dummy, the school's new "No Boobie Grabbing" pledge is just not in his best interests.

technical translation services said...

Excellent website. Lots of useful information here. I am sending it to a few friends ans also sharing in delicious. And obviously, thanks for your effort!

GregMan said...

"No, see, CapThis is a website, and it won this award, and... oh, hell, let's just go make out, OK?"

GregMan said...

"Ten seconds and she's still here! Two thumbs up for me!"

Todd celebrates a new personal best at speed dating.

Dr. Doom said...

"Let's see," reviewed the interviewer, "We got your unemployment benefits because you can't find work with your Women's Studies degree, food stamps, iPhone voucher, housing assistance, Obamacare card,... and now all I need is your birth control preference and I will be able to issue your DNC Lifetime Membership card..."

prince of leaves said...

Tyler demonstrates his championship colon-toothbrush grip to an underwhelmed Sierra.

prince of leaves said...

"Umm, Tyler? This is the English portion of the test -- counting on your fingers isn't going to help here."

Carpe Phlogiston said...

If Mittens' theocracy had won: Oh, no, we're just getting started. It'll take roughly 12 visits and 4 months for you to go through all the highly personal interrogations, ultrasounds, religious brainwashing and our "how to parent with no income" classes before you can get an approval for an abortion. What's that... you'll be past your 2nd trimester by then? Well, isn't that a coincidence. The GOP is only interested in you and the fetus for the first trimester, then we wash our hands of you both. Here, have an aspirin.

chronos the wonder pig said...

...with thumb in your bum and one in your quim - you'll squeal like a banshee....

Steve O said...

Yeah... I don't think a black thumb extender is going to work either.

Scotty G. said...

"So you're saying if I sign this petition, you get free birth control, and I don't have to wear a condom? Oh yeah!"

Scotty G. said...

A scene from "Lady Parts: The Sandra Fluck Story".