Monday, December 31, 2012

"Puny Earthlings, tremble at my mighty cortex!!!!"

Metalgarth




Ever since that whale exploded on him, Channel 13's Rick Bundy took no chances.


Best of metalgarth
We should have known that when the Teletubbies grew up that they would go into typical left wing professions such as journalism, academia and hair styling.

Best of Submariner
ORA: "I'm from France..."

Best of dadoctah
"....and as the smurf continues long into the smurf, residents make plans to smurf all the smurf they can before smurf runs out."

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
Seconds later, Frank sneezed and 1000's of viewers watched as his nose flew off and shattered against the camera lens.

Best of Dr. Doom
Choronos, the Prime Ambassador from Beta Irindi 7 landed on Earth bearing gifts of wisdom and technology. Unfortunately, the first person he encountered was an MSNBC reporter who asked if he was an agent of George Bush sent to destroy the ecology. The battle fleet will arrive next month...

Best of Dr. Doom
Bob 'suits up' to cover the riot on Gay St...

Best of prince of leaves
"Your ignorance makes me ill and angry."

17 comments:

metalgarth said...

We should have known that when the Teletubbies grew up that they would go into typical left wing professions such as journalism, academia and hair styling.

Submariner said...

ORA:

"I'm from France..."

Submariner said...

SouthFORK?
I didn't think Dallas should be this cold.

Submariner said...

Y'know, Gretchen, exposed appendages quickly run the risk of frostbite in this weather. Probably why you don't see many winter flashers here in January...

dadoctah said...

"....and as the smurf continues long into the smurf, residents make plans to smurf all the smurf they can before smurf runs out."

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Seconds later, Frank sneezed and 1000's of viewers watched as his nose flew off and shattered against the camera lens.

-OR-

No, Erica, I beg to differ. I wasn't cussing at you,I just want to know what f*cking asshole sent me out in this f*cking weather to cover a f*cking broken water main.

Dr. Doom said...

Choronos, the Prime Ambassador from Beta Irindi 7 landed on Earth bearing gifts of wisdom and technology. Unfortunately, the first person he encountered was an MSNBC reporter who asked if he was an agent of George Bush sent to destroy the ecology. The battle fleet will arrive next month...

Jack Reacher said...

ORA: Still looking for Maxwell Smart, Agent 13?

Carpe Phlogiston said...

I'm not saying Bernard was a slow talker, but by the time he was done reporting on the exciting discovery of a Giant Blue Ooze Slug, it was too late for a follow-up question from the stunned anchor desk.

-OR-

Contrary to biologist claims that Florida's python population explosion wouldn't threaten colder regions of the country, it seems they can survive, they just turn blue and shiver a lot.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Sam models the TSA's new "big blue glove" intended for anal spelunking of passengers who decline the naked X-ray body scanner method.
Despite generous hazard pay, few TSA agents voluntarily suit up.

Dr. Doom said...

Bob 'suits up' to cover the riot on Gay St...

Steve O said...

Not to brag, but I have that same coat.

Jack Reacher said...

"I was in the pool! I was in the pool!"

prince of leaves said...

"Your ignorance makes me ill and angry."

Submariner said...

With apologies to DaDoctah;


"Smurf this!"

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Continuing with the Smurf meme -

It's too late for me, Allison, I've already been smurfed! Just tell our viewers to avoid contact with the rep from Hustler magazine!

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Well dang, the link borked. Came across a pr0n gallery of a rather fugly blue smurf girl linked to a HUSTLER photoshoot, but instead of just posting the link to the NSFW gallery I figured to link just to 1 safe photo. Ah well. Win some, lose some. Get well V.