Monday, November 05, 2012

Who Needs a Hug



1. "It's OK, son. Ssssh, Sssh. Now just calm down and tell me what Senator Reid showed you in the bathroom."

2. "Don't cry, son. Senator Reid may be scary, but he's old and soon he'll die and be in Hell where Satan will burn his soul for all eternity."

3. "Don't be afraid, son. It's not Joy Behar, it's just a giant Lee Press-On Nail glued to a plinth."

4. "You made $400 scalping tickets to a free event on eBay? That's my boy!"

5.  "Armed assassins? This child will shield me!"

11 comments:

Double the U said...

We may not have the presidency, but we will always have this night.

Joshua said...

You had "The Office of the Next President-Elect" embroidered on your leather chair? I like the way you think man, give me a hug.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Sorry, kiddo, but you're no longer a fetus we accord more rights to than a grown up. You want a lollipop, get a job.

-OR-

No, this isn't "bad touch" - I'm frisking you for live microphones. Nobody's going to expose my secret plans to enslave the middle class.

-OR-

It'll all be over tomorrow. Then, I can go back to my day job shipping jobs overseas and emailing marriage proposals to binders full of white wimmen.

GregMan said...

"Don't let it become a fetish? Like heck, this feels great?"

GregMan said...

"Don't be afraid little boy, the monsters in the White House will be gone soon!"

prince of leaves said...

Sometimes the Romneybot 2012's human mimickry was astonishingly lifelike - especially compared to the stiff, staged-for-cameras family appearances of the competing model.

prince of leaves said...

And in that tragic unguarded moment, Timmy shouted "BIG BIRD AKHBAR!!", pressed the button, and turned Mitt, the campaign bus, and half a mile of interstate into a smoking crater.

prince of leaves said...

"Thanks for the hug, son! Now...which wife's are you?"

Kaptain Krude said...

"And I will feed him, and hug him, and pet him, and call him George."

Submariner said...

You complete me...

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Now now, don't be scared. Just because Auntie Anne Coulter's head just burst into flame doesn't mean mine will.