Friday, November 16, 2012

Stolen

from Sondrakistan because it's topical and stuff


"Well, let’s say this Twinkie represents the normal amount of debt in the national budget. Based on this morning’s sample, it would be a Twinkie… thirty-five feet long, weighing approximately six hundred pounds"


Best of Steve O
"Let's say that this Twinkie represents the amount of stupidity in an average union..."

Best of prince of leaves
"Behold: the last Twinkie in the world! Well, okay, the last new one - those others will be around until the heat-death of the universe."

Best of  Carpe Phlogiston
If you swallow this whole, you'll be headed for an intestinal disaster of biblical proportions!

Best of Dr. Doom
Congressman Frank's internet search for 'sweet twink' resulted in disappointment...

Best of Cat Whisperer
Thanks to the Obama bailout, these now cost the taxpayers $10,000 each to produce, the cream filling has been replaced with a brussel sprout, and they have a risk of spontaneous combustion.

Best of Steve O
"Let's say this Twinkie is the amount of despair and tittehs in a normal week..."

17 comments:

Steve O said...

"Let's say that this Twinkie represents the amount of stupidity in an average union..."

Dactyl said...

"That's a big twinkie."

prince of leaves said...

"Behold: the last Twinkie in the world! Well, okay, the last new one - those others will be around until the heat-death of the universe."

prince of leaves said...

ORA: "Now, if you'll just sign this gift certificate, Mr. Dewar. Of course, we'll have to change the name...we were thinking 'Miracle Morsel'. Nice ring, eh?"

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Lobbyists are already scrambling to test new bait to attract the congressional pigs at the public trough, but most agree nothing works like a decade old Twinkie.

-OR-

A young Dr. Who foolishly tries to lure the rutting Stigorax out of the Tardis and ends up in hospital with a mild case of rabies and an awkward request for the morning after pill.

Spin said...

Bend over Bakers it won't hurt much

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Mayor! The underground river of demonic ectoplasm was running directly into the Hostess Bakery! If you negotiate with the union, you'll be making deals with the devil!

-OR-

If you swallow this whole, you'll be headed for an intestinal disaster of biblical proportions!

-OR-

I don't know what happened. One minute everything was quiet, the next baby Oscar's bawling and this was crawling out of his diaper!

WordVerify: gnityphs - kinda rolls off the tongue like Twinkie's creme filling, don't it?

Dr. Doom said...

Congressman Frank's internet search for 'sweet twink' resulted in disappointment...

Carpe Phlogiston said...

The poor man's Fleshlight.

prince of leaves said...

As a gimmick to induce further self-destructive frothing by the GOP leading into 2014, the Obama administration nationalizes Twinkies a la GM, reformulates them with fewer calories and a smaller portion size to meet Michelle's health-food requirements, and promotes their dual-use potential as tampons (which women-hating Republicans are working tirelessly to outlaw).

Cat Whisperer said...

Thanks to the Obama bailout, these now cost the taxpayers $10,000 each to produce, the cream filling has been replaced with a brussel sprout, and they have a risk of spontaneous combustion.

Anonymous said...

Here's your contraception Sandra.

Steve O said...

"Let's say this Twinkie is the amount of despair and tittehs in a normal week..."

Kaptain Krude said...

"We're going to be negotiating with the devil. Or the unions. I forget which. Anyway, we'll distract them with... THIS! No one can resist a devil's food cake!"

"Egon, that's made of angel's food cake."

"... ... ... Um, right. Just testing you. Very good, uh, you passed!"

Kaptain Krude said...

"Why don't you take your offer...

put it in this little Twinkie...

shine it up all nice and pretty...

turn that sumbitch sideways, and stick it straight up your rooty-pooh, candy-ass!

If you smelllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll....

what the Egon...

*raises eyebrow*

is cooking!"

Kaptain Krude said...

Egon, you fool! It's supposed to fit the other way! Turn it around!

Carpe Phlogiston said...

The new Colon Cleanse Sponge Swallow with a cup of water, then sit and wait for it.