The Morons at Acebook helped with these:
1. The SCOAMF wondered, "How could those tiny, tiny hands shove so much food into that gaping maw?"
2. Christie: "I was told there would be a meal on this flight!"
3. Christie: "What do you mean I have to pay for TWO seats?"
4. Christie: "Mr. President, I may or may not have just passed gas - please remain calm."
5. Christie: "....and so I deep fry the butter BEFORE I pour it over the popcorn..."
6. Christie: "So, this 'donut hole' in Medicare that you keep talking about. Does it have sprinkles?"
7. Christie: "He will join us or die, my Master!"
8. Christie: I'm still voting for Mitt,but you had candy.
9. SCOAMF: "Governor, I hope you are enjoying your first... and *last*... ride in the presidential helicopter."
10. SCOAMF Thoughtbubble: "Hmmm, the engines are going full power and we're barely at treetop level."
11. "I'm tellin' ya, take the Jets. You can't miss, Sanchez is playing like freakin' Montana, it's a _sure_thing."
12. "You got a wider lavatory on this thing? I really gotta shit!"
13. Joke and the Fatman.
14. "I LIVE IN A VAN DOWN BY THE RIVER!!!"
22 comments:
"Mr. President, GET IN MAH BELLY!!"
or
"Governor, have you ever seen a grown man naked?"
"Mr. President, I'm sorry. I had no idea that was Michelle's eatin' shovel."
or "President thawt bubble: "Must break away from gravitational pull."
"Mr President, have you ever seen a fat man in a bathtub?"
"Why yes, all the time at Man Country...."
"Mr President, just don't let this become a fetish."
"Please try to focus sir. I'm sure we can arrange a meeting with Snookie and The Situation... maybe even an autograph", implored Mr. Christie, "Now about the National Guard..."
Wow. "Christie's fat"? That's the sum total of the comedic genius at work here?
Norm and Cliff have really let themselves go.
(Seriously, George Wendt: get well soon!)
Whoa, Bo, you don't have to sell me on your healthcare plan! You had me at "preexisting conditions."
-OR-
Um, Chris, can I can I call you Chris, well, Chris, Michelle's about to board. If I say confined space, eatin shovel and pork ribs do you get my drift?
New from CBS this fall... Fake and the Fatman
Chris: "Let's not get full of ourselves over my endorsement... remember, I crap bigger'n you..."
The President's "lean forward" posture was not a shout-out to his pals at MSNBC -- in the un-cropped photo, it's clear that the plane is flying at a 45deg angle of attack due to bad load balancing.
I know Lincoln presages a war, but what does it mean when the ghost of William Howard Taft appears before a President?
OK, get this right... Those weren't pillows....
Gov. Christie: "No, Barry, it's FEMA. FE-MA. Not 'female'--when you call your people down in DC, make sure you contact FEMA. {pause} No, no...not 'femur'--oh, lord, someone open the door and toss this idiot out! My state is underwater and this guy wants to send me thigh bones."
Governor Christie lives to regret counting on the SCOAMF for anything resembling support.
"Christie, I can name that tune if four notes", challenged the President...
President: "So is it a deal? You go on Fox News and tell everyone how Presidential I am..."
Governor: "And you release the relief supplies immediately and throw in all of the honey buns the feds removed from school breakfasts..."
Obama: Now witness the power of a fully operational Rovian Hurricane Machine!
Christie: No! New Jersey is peaceful... I'll, I'll help you get reelected.
"Look, I'm sorry Mr. President. I appreciate the food and the helicopter ride and everything...But no, you can't blow me."
OK, land this Mofo by a Krispy Kreme now, or I'm snappin' you like a toothpick.
Christie: "Heck of a job Brownie."
You realize that now that I've complimented you, I'll have to go on television and pander to my own party? No hard feelings?
Of course not, it's the "speak out of both sides of the mouth" trick we politicians master early on, Chris. Ah, we've reached cruising altitude. You can get out now.
HUH? Whaaaa?
"They just never make those little barf bags big enough if ya know what I mean."
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