The Morons at Acebook helped with these:
1. The SCOAMF wondered, "How could those tiny, tiny hands shove so much food into that gaping maw?"
2. Christie: "I was told there would be a meal on this flight!"
3. Christie: "What do you mean I have to pay for TWO seats?"
4. Christie: "Mr. President, I may or may not have just passed gas - please remain calm."
5. Christie: "....and so I deep fry the butter BEFORE I pour it over the popcorn..."
6. Christie: "So, this 'donut hole' in Medicare that you keep talking about. Does it have sprinkles?"
7. Christie: "He will join us or die, my Master!"
8. Christie: I'm still voting for Mitt,but you had candy.
9. SCOAMF: "Governor, I hope you are enjoying your first... and *last*... ride in the presidential helicopter."
10. SCOAMF Thoughtbubble: "Hmmm, the engines are going full power and we're barely at treetop level."
11. "I'm tellin' ya, take the Jets. You can't miss, Sanchez is playing like freakin' Montana, it's a _sure_thing."
12. "You got a wider lavatory on this thing? I really gotta shit!"
13. Joke and the Fatman.
14. "I LIVE IN A VAN DOWN BY THE RIVER!!!"