Monday, October 15, 2012

The Dark Half


1. "Couldn't we make Romney look even more dark and sinister?" the NY Times photo editor asked. "Like photoshop in a dead, bleeding puppy or something?"

2. MSDNC chose curious angles and lighting for its coverage of Romney in the second debate. Also, electronically lowering his voice and throwing in 'The Imperial March' from Star Wars as his music cue, in case anyone missed the point.

3. "Vote for me, puny mortals, or I will never bring back your sun! BWAH ha haha ha ha ha!"

4. As the country's fiscal black hole expanded, all light and heat was gradually sucked into it, meanwhile leftists still whined that Romney was lying about the debt and anyway it was Bush's fault.

5. The Romney Campaign would come to regret hiring Tim Burton to shoot its final week of campaign ads.


Best of metalgarth
Now that Dick Cheney has given me the passwords to his weather control satellite I can make every day this gloomy. Bwah ha ha ha ha!!!

Best of GregMan
"My God! It's full of stars!"

Best of Dr. Doom
If the media filter had a visual component...

Best of Spineless Vertebrae
Romney tries to see things from a black man's point of view.

Best of dadoctah
"If Dirty Harry can talk to an empty chair, why can't I talk to a lens flare?"

20 comments:

metalgarth said...

Now that Dick Cheney has given me the passwords to his weather control satellite I can make every day this gloomy. Bwah ha ha ha ha!!!

GregMan said...

"My God! It's full of stars!"

Dr. Doom said...

If the media filter had a visual component...

Spineless Vertebrae said...

Romney tries to see things from a black man's point of view.

Submariner said...

Last Thought Bubble: "I thought electing Obama was going to LOWER the level of the oceans..."

Kaptain Krude said...

"Of course, George W. Bush is to blame for this!"

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Look, Ryan, I'm a capitalist. I feign empathy, I game the system! Doesn't this guy watch my performances on TV? Who IS John Galt, anyway?
Well, sir, if you'd read that book I gave you for Christmas a couple years ago...

Caroe Phlogiston said...

Candy, wait! Don't turn off the lights. I'm not finished dodging the questions. I have a plan. Really. It's a 5-point plan. It's got substance, honest, but Ryan says it takes all day to explain it and I fell asleep halfway through his lecture. Candy, you only gave me a couple minutes. How about if I toss in another point? Two points and a platform plank? Candy? Candeeeeee!

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Caroe?? Dammit, no edit button.

Dr. Doom said...

Caroe Phlogiston: Translation from the original Latin - 'flesh on fire'. Freudian slip? Perhaps. Or maybe just maybe good ol' CP is a closet Romneyite. Or is it Ms. Crowley that has captured his subconscious? The monors are on the edge of their seats in anticipation of an explanation...

Carpe Phlogiston said...

:) Candy is so not my type, Dr. D. shudders, barfs
Doubt monors give a flying f, but there's are some things about each party I could support, but a lot more I can't stomach. I never bought the lies, vague promises or the "pander to special interest groups/the nation be damned" philosophy of either side.
BTW, caroe is from Medieval Latin but is a short form of "carucate," a derivative of carruca/"wheeled plow," a land unit of tax assessment in merry olde theocratic 1% heaven England. See why I added a correction? Nasty concept, taxation without representation. Some of us sick intercourses enjoy fact checking.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

An alternate explanation: derivation of a Welsh surname - Caeriw (dweller at the fort on the hill)
Aye, 'tis a fine snipe hunt ye have sent me on this day, doc.

Spin said...

Moroni,I beseech you, help Carpe unobstructed his bowel and say something funny again

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Hi ya Spin! I penned that with you in mind, little buddy. :) Oh, and you'll love what's waiting for you on another page, but it's a surprise so I won't spoil it for ya.

Dr. Doom said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Dr. Doom said...

@CP STOP All this Google penetration is making the internet sore!

We seem to be at one of those 'Damned if you do, Damned if you don't' tipping points in American history. About that I'm sure we can agree...

Carpe Phlogiston said...

We live in interesting times, doc. Not sure we've reached another tipping point, though. Seems to take bigger and bigger crises for the traitors in congress to even pretend to work together. Then they go right back to gaming the system and kicking cans down the road. The mother of all tipping points is indeed coming. The &#%@$ kids in the back seat keep yelling, "Are we there yet, are we there yet?"

Spin said...

"Hi ya Spin! I penned that with you in mind, little buddy. :)"

pray tell what did you pen?

Spin said...

"Carpe,alas,I knew him when he could write a caption"

dadoctah said...

"If Dirty Harry can talk to an empty chair, why can't I talk to a lens flare?"