Monday, October 08, 2012

Surrender, Friend of Dorothy


1. "Iä! Iä! Shub-Niggurath! Black Goat [of the Woods] with a Thousand Young! Hear my prayer." Huh, guess he wasn't a Muslim after all."

2. "American flag! Bic Lighter! Burn, baby, burn!" Democrats yawned that the latest leaked Obama video "didn't really show anything we didn't already know."

3. Obama tries to rally the white yuppie nostalgia vote by singing the 'Friends' theme song at every rally, complete with hand claps.

4. Waving his hands in the air like he didn't care, Obama then proceeded to glide by the people as they stopped to look and stare.

5. "(Now raise your hands in the air and say, 'Out! Out! Ye demons of Capitalism!')" the SCOAMF's Teleprompter programmers were getting cocky.


Best of Carpe Phlogiston
The DNC saved a ton of money on the "made in china" flags, confident that not one democrat would notice that instead of stars, the printer used Hello Kitty heads.

Best of metalgarth
WORST. NFL. REPLACEMENT. REF. EVER.

Best of blue
"Let me demonstrate how I will surrender the USA to radical Islam!"

Best of Cat Whisperer
While preparing for the upcoming presidential debate on foreign policy, President Obama practices his answer to the question, “Using only hand gestures, describe the Obama Doctrine as it pertains to dealing with the enemies of the United States.”

Best of GregMan
"Arise, ye prisoners of starvation!"

Best of Submariner
I feel a disturbance in the Force... It's as if the freedoms of 300 million souls was just extinguished...
Hallelujah - that feels GREAT!

Best of Submariner
First documented case of the American flag taking an illegal into custody for deportatino to his home of record.

22 comments:

Carpe Phlogiston said...

The DNC saved a ton of money on the "made in china" flags, confident that not one democrat would notice that instead of stars, the printer used Hello Kitty heads.

-OR-

Why the White House b-ball court is closed to the press corps:
"Biden! BIDEN! I'm open! Stop drooling and toss it to me, white boy."

-OR-

To show he's alert at the next debate, his team has electrified Obamalama's shoes so he does a happy dance each time Romney mangles a fact, statistic or claims he has empathy.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Tit for Tat
After the DNC ran an ad portraying Obamalama as a black Superman, the RNC filmed a bunch of actors actually named Lois Lane and Jimmy Olsen saying, "I KNEW Superman, and Obamalama is no Superman."

metalgarth said...

...and when Iran goes nuclear and comes knocking at our door we will meet them with *this* gesture

metalgarth said...

WORST. NFL. REPLACEMENT. REF. EVER.

Double the U said...

"How big is the national debt?"
"Soooooooooo big!"

chronos the wonder pig said...

Obama demonstrates how he "assumed the position" in Chicago

Dr. Doom said...

"And I say to you if you vote for me, I will see to it that there is a chicken in every pot" said the President, "Oh and a pot on every stove, and a stove in every house, and... well you get the idea."

blue said...

"Let me demonstrate how I will surrender the USA to radical Islam!"

Cat Whisperer said...

While preparing for the upcoming presidential debate on foreign policy, President Obama practices his answer to the question, “Using only hand gestures, describe the Obama Doctrine as it pertains to dealing with the enemies of the United States.”

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Now that O and Holder have lost their inane slap suit against AZ, O's filming a PSA to show illegals how to react to police encounters so they won't be shot prior to deportation.

-OR-

When a wallet was reported stolen during the debates, the ever-vigilant Secret Service leapt into action and frisked the most likely suspect... the only black guy in the room.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

After pulling a Biden by insulting 47% of Americans, Romney can't be too careful:
I TOLD you, Mitt, I'm not carry a wire.

dadoctah said...

will.i.am has really let himself go.

Spin said...

Allah Acbar

prince of leaves said...

The Democrat Party wisely installed a trap door under the President's podium, so that he could make a convenient escape if Romney started making an ass of him in the second debate.

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GregMan said...

"Arise, ye prisoners of starvation!"

GregMan said...

"Clap with me! Kumbaya my lord, kumbaya!"

chronos the wonder pig said...

Today, in honor of Chavez's re-election victory in Venezuela, I established a National Monument at his birthplace in southern California! (Hope he votes for me like I voted for him!)

Submariner said...

"...and I promise you 99%ers that those 1%ers will be like this by the end of 4 more years of my administration if you vote for me."

"They'll never realize they will be too... Dipsh!ts..."

Submariner said...

I feel a disturbance in the Force... It's as if the freedoms of 300 million souls was just extinguished...
Hallelujah - that feels GREAT!

Submariner said...

First documented case of the American flag taking an illegal into custody for deportatino to his home of record.

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