Friday, October 19, 2012

Puttin' on the Mitts



1. Mittens: "You know what I hate? Fat liberal women who interrupt me when I'm trying to debate. (Sigh) There's one behind me, isn't there?"

2. Mrs. R: "I am telling you, my dessert was gone when I got back from the ladies room. We shouldn't have taken seats so close to Candy Crowley."

3. Mrs R: "Instituting gladiatorial combat to the death was an excellent way to entertain the lumpen AND reduce the welfare roles. Well played, my husband."

4. How embarrassing; Mrs Romney and Andrew Sullivan arrive wearing the same gown.

5. The Romneys were mesmerized at Chris Matthews continuously fondled himself throughout Obama's speech.


Best of GregMan
The Romneys politely applauded when M'chel won the BBQ rib eating contest, but they were secretly horrified when she also ate the other contestants.

Best of GregMan
"Fifty Quatloos on the newcomer!"

Best of dadoctah
Somewhere in an attic in Provo, two painted portraits are looking *really* messed up.

Best of Dr. Doom
"I wonder what the 47%ers are eating tonight?", wondered Mitt as the butler (former CEO of GST Steel) served dinner at the Romney manse...

Best of prince of leaves
Ann clapped delicately, gingerly, her wrists still magnificently tender from yet another passionate night in Mitt's binders.

Best of blue
Lets see, Romney has a MILF and Obama has a Wookie wif a eating shovel.......

Best of Rodney Dill
Ann: "Can you sing 'De Camptown Ladies,' now Mr. President?"

18 comments:

Shayne said...

"excellent. Now send in the lions!"

or

"WIPERS!"

GregMan said...

The Romneys politely applauded when M'chel won the BBQ rib eating contest, but they were secretly horrified when she also ate the other contestants.

GregMan said...

Next Day's NYT Headline: "Romneys Applaud As Poor People Fight To The Death Over Their Leftovers"

GregMan said...

"Fifty Quatloos on the newcomer!"

dadoctah said...

Somewhere in an attic in Provo, two painted portraits are looking *really* messed up.

Dr. Doom said...

"I wonder what the 47%ers are eating tonight?", wondered Mitt as the butler (former CEO of GST Steel) served dinner at the Romney manse...

prince of leaves said...

Ann clapped delicately, gingerly, her wrists still magnificently tender from yet another passionate night in Mitt's binders.

prince of leaves said...

"I don't know either," Mitt said after D'Anconia finished his rant, "all I heard was a bunch of Peanuts-teacher wuh-wahn-wah-wahn-ing there..."

Dr. Doom said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
dadoctah said...

Secret of a successful marriage: even though like most white folks they're off the beat, they're both off by *exactly* *the* *same* *amount*.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

I've been meaning to ask, dear... you are going to have my shovel gold-plated, right?
Plated hell! Little lady, the damned thing will be pure gold. After all, we'll have the keys to Ft. Knox!

-OR-

Thawtbubble during Intermission: If I'd been president back then, I'd have dropped Capra in a deep hole for portraying poor innocent Henry Potter as a mean old banker. If I win, 99% of America will be clamoring to live in Potter's Field.

blue said...

Lets see, Romney has a MILF and Obama has a Wookie wif a eating shovel.......

Spin said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Dr. Doom said...

"Oh how delightful", said Ms. Romney commenting on the performance of the children's choir, "I'm sure they will grow up to make wonderful servants..."

Dr. Doom said...

Looking Presidential... and Mitt isn't too bad either...

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Dear, don't make such a big deal of that oil pipeline. Potential environmental disaster, can't come online for years, just a drop in the US demand bucket.
Meh, only independents fact check.
Exactly, you dolt! Whose votes do you need??
Wellll, I have a god on my side.
Another talking point that really isn't, Einstein.

Rodney Dill said...

Ann: "Can you sing 'De Camptown Ladies,' now Mr. President?"

Submariner said...

Thawt bubbles as the Vienna Boys Choir finishes:
Mitt - "Future Capitalists!"
da Missus - "Future Macy's tellers!"
M'Chelle just off screen right - "Future hors d'oeuvres!"