Monday, October 29, 2012

Peanut Butter Jelly Time



1. "All right, Thing, I'll make my own goshdarn PB&J"
2. "No, I'll save the honey for later. Acting out the kinky parts of '9 1/2 Weeks' is part of Ann's therapy."
3. "Mittens, it was great when you turned your campaign bus over for hurricane relief, but you don't need to make a sandwich for each individual victim."
4. "So, any of you pussies in the back of the bus allergic to bees or peanuts? You can get the f--k out right now if you are."  The Mitt Romney you never see.
5. "Oh, darn, looks like I spilled honey all over and made a mess." Mitt had heard something about "Honey Boo Boos" being popular with undecided voters.


Best of metalgarth
Why am I doing this when I've got *BINDERS* full of women who could do it for me?

Best of Joshua
< puts on liberal hat >
"I'm going to grab a beer and sandwich and go as a commoner for Halloween."
or
Evil Koch Brothers: Hey Romney, make me a sammich.
or
"Heh, I filled this peanut butter jar with Grey Poupon and they suspect nothing."
or
"Mormons don't eat peanut butter. This picture is photoshopped! Look at how small his hands are!!!11"
< time to remove liberal hat >

Best of GregMan
"Yessir, nothing tastes better after a hard day's campaigning than orphan's livers spread on bread made from the bleached bones of poor people!"

Best of GregMan
"I better get used to this. There won't be anything left in the White House kitchen this January after M'Chel goes through it."

Best of prince of leaves
By January 2021, a jaded President Romney was 350lbs and making them with bananas.

Best of dadoctah
'Ow to speak Mormon: Ethnic food.

14 comments:

metalgarth said...

Why am I doing this when I've got *BINDERS* full of women who could do it for me?

Joshua said...

< puts on liberal hat >
"I'm going to grab a beer and sandwich and go as a commoner for Halloween."
or
Evil Koch Brothers: Hey Romney, make me a sammich.
or
"Heh, I filled this peanut butter jar with Grey Poupon and they suspect nothing."
or
"Mormons don't eat peanut butter. This picture is photoshopped! Look at how small his hands are!!!11"
< time to remove liberal hat >

GregMan said...

"Yessir, nothing tastes better after a hard day's campaigning than orphan's livers spread on bread made from the bleached bones of poor people!"

GregMan said...

"I better get used to this. There won't be anything left in the White House kitchen this January after M'Chel goes through it."

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Oh crap, here I've been claiming I had empathy and I meant I had HONEY! LOL Ah well, most of the dummies won't know the difference and if they don't like it, they can get off da bus.

-OR-

So, how much you think this photo will be worth to Unilever with the word Skippy nice and prominent?
A million campaign donation at least. We could get a lot more if I could get this cheap camera to focus on the Made in China label on that fake honey. You know that's radioactive, right?

Double the U said...

hmmm, white bread?

jimmy said...

Mitt has been known on occasion to really cut loose and make his PB&J with *chunky* peanut butter, and eat from a salad plate rather than a proper dinner plate. In Ann's absence, he even occasionally uses his hands rather than using proper silverware.

Similarly, Ann has been known to forego the trimming of the crusts from her PB&J. She also was seen using her teaspoon to spread the jelly when a proper butter knife was apparently unavailable.

These breaks with table etiquette are often cited by their friends as proof that the couple really are free-wheeling lovers of all things informal.

prince of leaves said...

"It's always good to have practical skills, I say. Like this...knowing how to do this means I won't go hungry if the servants have the night off."

prince of leaves said...

By January 2021, a jaded President Romney was 350lbs and making them with bananas.

prince of leaves said...

"White bread, sugar, and fats are NOT healthy choices for America!" Less than an hour later an increasingly-desperate Obama campaign had already launched a new ad featuring M'Chel and Michael Bloomberg.

prince of leaves said...

"Romney Sends Racial Dog-Whistle to His White Racist Republican Base" -- headline at Little Green Footballs.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Obamalama was doing it all wrong. You want to kill a podium stalking rat, you place a PB&J laced with Wafarin on the floor and watch the filthy sucker bleed to death. Works on OWS protesters, too!

Spineless Vertebrae said...

"Screw trying to act like ordinary citizens, who do I have to pay to make me a t-bone?"

dadoctah said...

'Ow to speak Mormon: Ethnic food.