Tuesday, October 23, 2012

iSCOAMF


1. "Is "Binders full of women" anything like "Folders full of white-on-black gay fisting porn" wondered the SCOAMF.
2. "Much like aircraft carriers make navies obsolete... this iPad with its capcity to hold and download thousands of books would make libraries completely... sheeyit, I better propose a $300 Billion library bailout."
3. The SCOAMF spent hours staring at his iPad, trying to intimidate it. The iPad's likeability ratings sky-rocketed.
4. "Let's check with Apple maps and see if there's a route to victory that by-passes Ohio."
5. "His chocolate arms entwined the loud white MSNBC host, their heated breaths mingled and became one... Dammit, Chris Matthews, stop sending me your fanfic!"



Best of blue
"If I order one of these Skeleboners on Amazon maybe I can get Reggie back......"

Best of prince of leaves
Aide: "Mr. President, you do know that your specially-encrypted iPad is supposed to be used for CIA briefings and not watching the live webcam feed from Man's Country, right?"

Best of GregMan
"Note to self: get 'black on white gay p0rn' removed from the White House firewall's blocking list."

Best of Dr. Doom
"I've got it "I'll have the State Department buy a few dozen of these and have my speeches loaded onto them", thought the President, "They will make lovely parting gifts for foreign heads of state."


Best of Carpe Phlogiston
The cropped picture of the statue of liberty confirms Trump's suspicions that Obamalama's kink is female armpits.

Best of Dr. Doom
"Let's see...D4... dang it", groused the President, "Mitt Romney sank my battleship!"


Best of Rodney Dill
"Hmmmm... I wonder what happens to Clifford the Big Red Dog next?"

17 comments:

blue said...

"If I order one of these Skeleboners on Amazon maybe I can get Reggie back......"

prince of leaves said...

"What? Our ambassador to Libya was killed? Why didn't someone tell me?!?" Thanks to his tee time being rained out, Obama finally has time to catch up with his email.

prince of leaves said...

Aide: "Mr. President, you do know that your specially-encrypted iPad is supposed to be used for CIA briefings and not watching the live webcam feed from Man's Country, right?"

prince of leaves said...

Althouse: "What catches my eye is the art in the background..the erect arm of Lady Liberty and the semi-erect, arched pose of the Remington statue. Now consider the traditionally phallic symbology of the two flag staffs to his right, and the suggestively penile shapes of the legs on the credenza. He's surrounded himself with visual allusions to the penis! Is Drudge trying to tell us that the President is looking at gay porn on his iPad?"

prince of leaves said...

"Hmm, this thing even comes with apps helpfully installed by the CIA and Pentagon...'Red Button'...let's see what that one does..."

Joshua said...

Dear Diary, today is the big day I unleash my October surprise! This is my most diabolical election plan yet! It's even better than unsealing Jack Ryan's divorce records. As they say on the internet: developing..... BWAHAHA! BWAHAHAHA!

GregMan said...

"Note to self: get 'black on white gay p0rn' removed from the White House firewall's blocking list."

GregMan said...

"Why are there so few 'Help Wanted' ads? Oh, right, I destroyed the Amerikkkan economy..."

Dr. Doom said...

The President peruses the 'Gigs' section of Craigslist to try and find a job. Surprisingly there were a few he was qualified for...

Dr. Doom said...

"I've got it "I'll have the State Department buy a few dozen of these and have my speeches loaded onto them", thought the President, "They will make lovely parting gifts for foreign heads of state."

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Teh big surprise - The cropped picture of the statue of liberty confirms Trump's suspicions that Obamalama's kink is female armpits.

-OR-

Zoom in, note the slumped pose and closed eyes? You can almost hear him snoring. Maybe he's having the Lewinsky dream. The ghost of spooge* is said to haunt the premises.
*Hey, it's s two'fer... white like a ghost, rhymes with Scrooge.

Dr. Doom said...

"Let's see...D4... dang it", groused the President, "Mitt Romney sank my battleship!"

Dr. Doom said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Dr. Doom said...

President: mumbling "...damned angry birds..."
Aide: "Mr. Putin on the red phone sir!"
President: "Tell him I'm in um, ah, you know - one of those things we do every few weeks..."
Aide: "A vacation sir?"
President: "No the one where all the boring people come here and talk all day."
Aide: "Oh - a cabinet meeting sir?"
President: "That's the one - tell him I'm in one of those..."

Steve O said...

Obama begins to calculate how many boxes he'll need to pack up his s---.

Kaptain Krude said...

"Man, four years have come and gone, and I can honestly say, I would have to give myself a solid B+. Maybe eveen an A-. Yes. Definitely. I'll be ranked right up there with Washington, Lincoln, FDR, Kennedy, um, who's that other guy? Ah well, its not important. What's important is a final gift to my adoring fans. They deserve one final gift from me to them. But what? I'm the most brilliant man alive, certainly I must be able to think of something? I know! An iPad full of all of my speeches! That's it! I'm a genius! Barack Hussein Obama, Super Genius! I like the way that rolls off the tongue. Barack Hussein Obama, Super Genius! Now where's my choom?"

Rodney Dill said...

"Hmmmm... I wonder what happens to Clifford the Big Red Dog next?"