Friday, October 12, 2012

Hey Girl


1. " I don't know if you heard, but I just did over 1000."
2. Anthony Weiner's Weiner wishes it was attached to this.
3. The best way to deal with Barney Frank's unwelcome stares in the House gym was to stare right back at him until he wet his pants.
4. For obvious reasons, the Obama Campaign rejected Ryan's preferred debate format.
5. Making Arnold Schwarzeneggar look like a wuss; Paul Ryan is the new Chuck Norris.




Best of prince of leaves
It took a lot of effort, but Ryan would eventually progress from this to curling hardcover copies of "Atlas Shrugged".

Best of prince of leaves
"Yes, it takes quite an investment of time an energy, but how else will I keep myself in shape for dragging poor people to the gutter and pushing wheelchair-bound grannies off cliffs?"

Best of dadoctah
To be fair, you can't play the "shoot a campaign ad standing in front of a guy shoving a live turkey into a woodchipper" card *twice*.

Best of Wesley M.
Sandra Fluke's secret iPad wallpaper.

Best of Dr. Doom
A true Renaissance Man, Mr. Ryan is equally at ease lifting dead weight or debating it...

Best of Kaptain Krude
"I've got to bulk up. It's going to be hell taking M'Chel's eatin' shovel out of her hands on January 20th."

Best of Jack Reacher
"How you doin?"

17 comments:

blue said...

Democrat response: Sarah Palin had better legs...........

prince of leaves said...

Democrats subsequently accused Ryan of using fake dumbbells in the photoshoot and employing racist code via his backward cap.

prince of leaves said...

Pfft. This is unimpressive, when you consider Obama could bench-press Ryan.

No...*Michelle*, not Barack.

prince of leaves said...

It took a lot of effort, but Ryan would eventually progress from this to curling hardcover copies of "Atlas Shrugged".

prince of leaves said...

"Yes, it takes quite an investment of time an energy, but how else will I keep myself in shape for dragging poor people to the gutter and pushing wheelchair-bound grannies off cliffs?"

prince of leaves said...

Jill Greenberg's Pulitzer-winning "enhancements" added the usual fangs and dripping blood to Ryan's mouth, while turning the dumbbells into brutally torn-out human hearts.

dadoctah said...

To be fair, you can't play the "shoot a campaign ad standing in front of a guy shoving a live turkey into a woodchipper" card *twice*.

Spin said...

Would it kill ya to do a leg curl once in a while Paul?

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Special cover on the November SI San Francisco swimsuit issue.

-OR-

Ryan shows how he can shovel so much manure. Daily exercise.

-OR-

BARBELLGATE - It's later revealed that Ryan prefers the little women's weights so the magazine had to photoshop in the men's barbells.

-OR-

In real life, Goober Pyle was not a dork but something of a health nut.

Wesley M. said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Wesley M. said...

Sandra Fluke's secret iPad wallpaper.

dadoctah said...

When, exactly, did GOP change to GTL?

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Pandering to the black demographic prison voting bloc comes easy for some GOP candidates.

-OR-

Ryan: Are Styrofoam barbells used in photo ops tax deductible?
Accountant: Sure! Just get your doctor to write 'em up as health related medical equipment. What your insurance won't cover, the taxpayers will.
Ryan: Damn, I love being part of the 1%.

Dr. Doom said...

A true Renaissance Man, Mr. Ryan is equally at ease lifting dead weight or debating it...

Kaptain Krude said...

"I've got to bulk up. It's going to be hell taking M'Chel's eatin' shovel out of her hands on January 20th."

Jack Reacher said...

"Heavy lifting? You don't know heavy lifting until you have to claim that you didn't know the Libyan embassy was asking for additional security for months. Biden is a true American hero there."

Jack Reacher said...

"How you doin?"