Monday, October 08, 2012

"Can I get two sandwiches over here?"


1. INVISIBUL KOOL MENTHOL 100.
2. The SCOAMF was well into his third chorus of "Little Bunny Fu-Fu" before he realized the Teleprompter guys were f--king with him again.
3.  Obama was soundly defeated in the Second Debate when Romney chose "Rock."
4. And in the Second Debate, Obama got bored and started making shadow puppets; signalling to some his waning interest in the presidency.
5. "Benedicat vos Omnipotens SCOAMF, Pater, et Filius, et Spiritus Sanctus,"


Best of Dr. Doom
"OK everyone with a show of fingers, indicate which amendment to the constitution you hate the most...", orated the President.

Best of Spineless Vertebrae
At the second debate, Obama threw up multiple gang signs when answering questions; Al Gore excused this blunder by claiming the different gangs in New York must have influenced his thinking.

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
Clearly Obamalama was off his game, but it didn't help when he walked behind Mitt during closing rambles and held the devil's horns up to the back of the 1-percenter's head.

Best of  blue
"...and I fully anticipate that the Nobel committee will award me my second Peace Prize based on my stellar performance!!"

Best of  Joshua
"Peace, man." Obama adopted a southern California hippie accent during his San Fransisco fundraiser.

Best of jimmy
"Mr. SCOAMF, where do you expect to place next month in the election?"

"Mr. SCOAMF, how many girdles is M'Chel wearing right now?"

"Mr. SCOAMF, how many times this year has Chris Matthews offered to bear your love children?"

"Mr. SCOAMF, tell us how many times you kissed yourself in the mirror before you came out here."

"Mr. SCOAMF, how many Volts has Chevy sold this year?"

Best of Silrette
Another term, and I can do it. Okay, two. Two more terms and I'll totally accomplish what I promised. SOME of what I promised. At least ONE thing I promised. I promise.

Best of prince of leaves
Bored with the Presidency, Obama makes plans to move on up to a bigger stage with a global role: Pope.



And the Acebook Morons came up with...


Best of CHW: The President went visual to reinforce the number he had chosen for his goal of percentage of people he wanted still employed in the private sector at the end of his second term."

Best of Unclefacts Meteor-Summoner: Let me be perfectly clear, this is how many of my balls Mooch has in her purse right now.

Best of GD: Puff Puff give, man!

21 comments:

Dr. Doom said...

"OK everyone with a show of fingers, indicate which amendment to the constitution you hate the most...", orated the President.

Dr. Doom said...

Mr. Obama: "Damn it Mitt, doesn't scissors ever beat rock?"

Mr. Romney: "No Barack and they don't ever beat Iran either!"

Dr. Doom said...

Mr. Obama outlines his Rock, Paper, Scissors approach to national security.

blue said...

"... and if everybody votes twice for me, I can defeat that popular Romney!!"

Spineless Vertebrae said...

At the second debate, Obama threw up multiple gang signs when answering questions; Al Gore excused this blunder by claiming the different gangs in New York must have influenced his thinking.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Clearly Obamalama was off his game, but it didn't help when he walked behind Mitt during closing rambles and held the devil's horns up to the back of the 1-percenter's head.

-OR-

Obamalama puts Solyndra up for auction. "Okay, who'll bid two dollars for this once and future solution to the energy crisis? Two, two, do I hear two dollars? C'mon, you're killing me here."

-OR-

Somewhere in the universe, Mr. Spock is cringing at this lame ass attempt at a Vulcan greeting.

-OR-

Elizabeth Warren jumped up from her seat and excitedly yelled, "OMG, look, he's saying HOW in Chippewah! He's part Indian, too!"

blue said...

"...and I fully anticipate that the Nobel committee will award me my second Peace Prize based on my stellar performance!!"

dadoctah said...

Who screwed up and forgot to hire a sign language interpreter?

Steve O said...

In the Top 10 accomplishments of the Obama Administration: World's longest invisible menthol cigarette.

Joshua said...

"Peace, man." Obama adopted a southern California hippie accent during his San Fransisco fundraiser.

Dr. Doom said...

"Cheeseburger - cheeseburger - no fry - cheeps" called Mr. Obama as he practiced for his next job in Chicago. Sadly the Billy Goat Tavern found him under qualified...

jimmy said...

"Mr. SCOAMF, where do you expect to place next month in the election?"

"Mr. SCOAMF, how many girdles is M'Chel wearing right now?"

"Mr. SCOAMF, how many times this year has Chris Matthews offered to bear your love children?"

"Mr. SCOAMF, tell us how many times you kissed yourself in the mirror before you came out here."

"Mr. SCOAMF, how many Volts has Chevy sold this year?"

Silrette said...

Another term, and I can do it. Okay, two. Two more terms and I'll totally accomplish what I promised. SOME of what I promised. At least ONE thing I promised. I promise.

prince of leaves said...

Bored with the Presidency, Obama makes plans to move on up to a bigger stage with a global role: Pope.

prince of leaves said...

"Why would I have to be Catholic to be elected Pope? I didn't have to be American to be elected President!"

/birther bait

Submariner said...

Ooh, OOH, Mister Lehrer!
Over here.
I KNOW know that one!



I think...

Submariner said...

"...and I have sad, uh, news for all you, er, um, kids: Gov Romney has already, uh, announced his, um, Thanksgiving menu for his, um, family. Big Bird with, um, Elmo stuffing, and, um, uh, candied, uh, Oscar casserole... so tell Mommy and, um, Daddy if you, uh, have one, uh, to vote for, um, me: Barack Obama."

Submariner said...

If you vote for me, a chicken, no, make that TWO chickens in every pot. And those that vote against me will provide those chickens.

Submariner said...

OJA:

IQ or shoe size?

Submariner said...

Sorry, O'Reilly - you faulted so I award your question to Chris Matthews for an extra hard-hitting, put-me-to-the-test, gotcha question the American people want to know...

Rodney Dill said...

Cheeburger Cheeburger!!!