Friday, October 12, 2012

Bite Me


1. "When a wise person debates with a fool, the fool rages and laughs, and there is no peace and quiet." Proverbs 29:9.

2. "... He held it up like this and he had written on it in Sharpie, 'I farted on this pillow.'" By the end of it, Biden had to go to extremes to avoid talking about his regime's record.

3. As Biden entered his third chorus of "Mississippi Mud," Ryan wondered if the moderator was ever going to cut him off.

4. Gallant provides an outline for his plan to reduce the deficit. Goofus describes the time he ate a potato salad as big as his head.

5. Biden: "Of course I'm being rude and obnoxious.Our base loves this sh-t. Have you ever seen Ed Schultz?"


Best of Passionate Conservative
"Dear Lord, bring down your wrath on this idiot who thinks we should preserve life and live within our means, sincerely, Chuckles the Clown"

Best of Submariner
"I'm comin' 'Liz'beth!" Plugs makes what he thinks of as a "high brow" play for the black crowd.

Best of Joshua
"Look, a squirrel" Biden shouted as he took Axelrod's advice literally.

Best of Submariner
Cap This! Standard #17: "KAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHNNNNNNNNNNN!"

Best of prince of leaves
In Ironic Alternate Timeline #D3595-YF97-Q, Joe Biden just happened to be seated where he could see the incoming SMOD in the instant before it struck.

Best of prince of leaves
"OHH! The Blessed Moroni!!!" It didn't matter whether it was an authentic vision or just another stroke -- Joe's sudden 'Road to Deseret' enlightenment/conversion on live television seriously hampered the Obama camp's anti-Mormon whisper campaign.

Thread winnah: Rodney Dill
"SERENITY NOW!!!!"

Best of Van Wallach
Oh my God, Martha, keep doing that with your feet! Don't stop!!

Best of dadoctah
"Puny humans! Hulk smash!"

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
So, in my recurring dream, Hillary's a librarian, I'm holding the ladder steady and looking up her skirt... and I see these hairy balls and a bull pizzle staring back at me! Always wake up in a cold sweat screaming.

Best of Jack Reacher
"The sun! The sun is getting closer!" Biden still has difficulty with the concept of stage lights.

Best of Kaptain Krude
"There! Are! Four! Lights!" Geez, the Picard in this new Ang Lee version of Star Trek sure is old.

35 comments:

Passionate Conservative said...

"Dear Lord, bring down your wrath on this idiot who thinks we should preserve life and live within our means, sincerely, Chuckles the Clown"

Submariner said...

"I'm comin' 'Liz'beth!"

Plugs makes what he thinks of as a "high brow" play for the black crowd.

Submariner said...

"...so's I walk in and there was this poor, sweet intern holdin' the Secretary of State up to the urinal like this!"

Submariner said...

Cap This Standard #2

"Kobe, over here; I'm open!"

GregMan said...

"How big is the deficit? Sooo big!"

Once again Slow Joe tries his version of fact-based reasoning.

Submariner said...

ORA?

Plugz describes the day he saved the day when Les Nesman did his Thanksgiving turkey give-away in Cincinnatti.

GregMan said...

CapThis Standard Caption #2,936: "I tell ya, when I walked in on Hillary in the men's room, it was this d@mn long!"

GregMan said...

"Ia! Cthulhu fhtagn!""

Joshua said...

"Look, a squirrel" Biden shouted as he took Axelrod's advice literally.

Submariner said...

"Squirrel!"

Joe demonstrated yet again why he was only #2 by distracting himself, rather than his intended target.

Submariner said...

Cap This! Standard #17:


"KAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHNNNNNNNNNNN!"

Submariner said...

...so's I walk into the Oval Office and there's Barry singin' "Hallelujah, It's Raining Men!"

prince of leaves said...

In Ironic Alternate Timeline #D3595-YF97-Q, Joe Biden just happened to be seated where he could see the incoming SMOD in the instant before it struck.

prince of leaves said...

ORA: Ryan abruptly turns away as a peculiar light and vapor surround Biden. "Martha, don't look at him. Shut your eyes, Martha! Don't look at him, no matter what happens!"

prince of leaves said...

"OHH! The Blessed Moroni!!!" It didn't matter whether it was an authentic vision or just another stroke -- Joe's sudden 'Road to Deseret' enlightenment/conversion on live television seriously hampered the Obama camp's anti-Mormon whisper campaign.

prince of leaves said...

"...and I pressed my face between the intern's heaving bosoms and went BLRBLRBLRBLRBLRBLRBLRBLRBBBB! Ahh, those were the days, the good old days, before the Republican War on Women ruined everything!"

Rodney Dill said...

"SERENITY NOW!!!!"

Rodney Dill said...

Biden's tryout as an NFL replacement ref.

Rodney Dill said...

After a while those that make a living sucking off the government teat are easy to identify.

chronos the wonder pig said...

"Praise Allah and pass the ammunition!"

Van Wallach said...

Oh my God, Martha, keep doing that with your feet! Don't stop!!

Dr. Doom said...

Mr. Biden: "It was not the administration's fault, the intelligence community got it wrong!"

Mr. Ryan: "So your saying that intelligence isn't part of your administration?"

Mr. Biden: "Exactly! Wait what?"

Dr. Doom said...

"Now hold on just a doggone minute there Ryan", decried the Vice President, "Let's not go around confusing everyone with facts..."

dadoctah said...

"Puny humans! Hulk smash!"

Kaptain Krude said...

"...and then the newspaper had a picture of me, with the caption 'Old man yells at cloud'. Can you imagine that? I'm not old! Look at my teeth! Do they look old to you?"

Kaptain Krude said...

"Behold my teeth! Look upon my dentures, and tremble!"

Kaptain Krude said...

"Can you believe that holier-than-thou VtheK? Always turning down my brilliant captions! Brilliant, I say! See this last one that I submitted? And the arrogant clod actually ignored it! Where is the justice, O Lord?"

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Ryan's something of a practical joker but he lost a bet with Martha. Nine minutes into the debate, Biden finally reacted to the tack he'd sat on.

-OR-

So, in my recurring dream, Hillary's a librarian, I'm holding the ladder steady and looking up her skirt... and I see these hairy balls and a bull pizzle staring back at me! Always wake up in a cold sweat screaming.

Kaptain Krude said...

"What do I have to do to convince you that Barack Hussein Obama (mmm-mmm-mmm!) is the greatest President of all time? He's a big f*cking deal! What do I have to do? Oh God, I just soiled my Depends!"

Dr. Doom said...

Epic Fail: Forgetting that the Almighty had been removed from the platform and then invoking His name when you start to lose the debate during your opening statements...

blue said...

"Oh lord, why do I have to debate this heathen when I'm on the ticket with the anointed one you sent down to rule the earth and the cosmos?
Especially since the MSM has already decided the winner.....

chronos the wonder pig said...

Ryan's red tie looks nice...I think I'll wear on for our next debate......

Jack Reacher said...

"The sun! The sun is getting closer!" Biden still has difficulty with the concept of stage lights.

Kaptain Krude said...

"There! Are! Four! Lights!" Geez, the Picard in this new Ang Lee version of Star Trek sure is old.

Rodney Dill said...

Joe: "We'll support the poor with Bananas from Heaven."
Paul: "...you mean manna?"
Joe: "Er... Whatever.