Wednesday, September 05, 2012

These Are Not the Droids You're Looking For

Brender

1. As Voter ID laws became more common, Democrats in Chicago got around them by preserving the DNA of deceased voters in robot form and demanding that they be issued IDs.

2. This is how the Japanese solve their labor problems. They don't collect welfare, join gangs, or use emergency rooms for basic medical care. Well played, Japan. Now, go back to enjoying your tentacle hentai.

3. "Well, the human race has been exterminated. Our work is done."

4. "Levitating statues is much easier now that I have my Jedi powers."

5. "So, want to go off in the bushes and pleasure each other?" The first trial of the Andrew Sullivan and George Michael bots was a complete success.


Best of metalgarth
Rumor has it that Asimo has great captions for all the pictures but we'll never know because he can't prove he's not a robot.

Best of Joshua
On behalf of Asimo the ACLU sued the state of Pennsylvania over its strict new voter ID law. However, after the court rejected the challenge and allowed the law to go into effect Asimo was able to get a new voter ID card anyway by simply showing a copy of his expired warranty.

Best of Jack Reacher
"...and it writes great term papers!"

Best of Kaptain Krude
"NO! No! Bad dog! We don't do that on Mr. Wilson's lawn!"

Best of  c
"..and if we send the illegal robots home, who will cut your grass?"



14 comments:

GregMan said...

"Hey-you-get-off-my-lawn!"

metalgarth said...

Rumor has it that Asimo has great captions for all the pictures but we'll never know because he can't prove he's not a robot.

Whacko said...

"Say hello to my little friend, the portable robot toilet."

Joshua said...

On behalf of Asimo the ACLU sued the state of Pennsylvania over its strict new voter ID law. However, after the court rejected the challenge and allowed the law to go into effect Asimo was able to get a new voter ID card anyway by simply showing a copy of his expired warranty.

Dr. Doom said...

Things did not go well when Asimo brought his new girlfriend home to meet his parents M3-B9 and Rosie...

waaaay ORA double dip? (Lost in Space & Jetsons)

Joshua said...

We're here to apply for a job. I understand that Obama canceled NASA's manned space program. Are there any openings at this time?

dadoctah said...

"So, what's it gonna take to put you in one of these sporty little numbers today?"

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Year 2525 Mockumentary
Based on ancient CaptionThis archives, a recreation of a typical day in President Obama's life - walking his dog Bo in the Rose Garden, Bo crapping on the lawn.

-OR-

Long after humans went extinct, NBC's 2525 premiere of "Car 54 Where Are You?" was a hit with the Z~droid900 demographic.

-OR-

Dancing with the Stars finally jumps the shark.

-OR-

Things you did not know about the RNC: Eastwood had to use a chair prop because nobody could find a Roombamower at the last minute. "So, Mr. President, I feel overdue for a recharge, how about you?"

Jack Reacher said...

The robot carries a clean-up bag so his pet doesn't leave little batteries on the lawn.

Jack Reacher said...

"...and it writes great term papers!"

Kaptain Krude said...

"NO! No! Bad dog! We don't do that on Mr. Wilson's lawn!"

Spin said...

Plug-n-Play
Is this robot porn? OMG is that her vagina?

Carpe Phlogiston said...

MORE POWER!
Heavily-padded Tim "the Toolman" Taylor demos his beefed up version of a John Deere lawnvac. He calls it the "Rocksucker" - it can now strip mine a 200-ft swath of bedrock on a full charge.

-OR-

A first responder cautiously approaches another Roombamower model 4B suffering off-road rage. This one flung several lawn sprinkler heads and a squirrel through an aluminum siding wall half a block away.

c said...

"..and if we send the illegal robots home, who will cut your grass?"