Monday, September 24, 2012

SCOAMF Eats Stuff, MFM Swoons

Sondra the K


1. "I wish I were that apple and he were taking a bit out of me," sighed Chris Matthews, and Katie Couric, and Andrew Sullivan, and Brian Williams, and Bob Scheiffer, and Scott Pelley, and Nora O'Donnell, and Soledad O'Brien, and...

2. "Am I bigger crybaby than Tom Brady? Guilty as charged."

3. "So, this is where ordinary Americans buy their Arugula and Wegyu steak. How quaint."

4. And the Lord Spoketh Unto Barry and Said "Eat Thou NOT of the Fruit of the Tree of Narcissism, Lest Thou Become a Stuttering Clusterf--k of a Miserable... Oh, Sh-t, Why Am I Even Wasting My Breath?"

5. I am totally not paying for this, chuckled the SCOAMF to himself.

12 comments:

chronos the wonder pig said...

"I'd rather eat teh stinger" whispered Barry...........

chronos the wonder pig said...

"They charge for this? In the bathhouse we can eat all the fruits we wanted for free!"

chronos the wonder pig said...

"Just don't offer me Debbie Wasserman Schultz's melons!"

metalgarth said...

Alternative rock in the mid 1990s predicted the future with uncanny accuracy. The President of the United States of America sings to himself "MILLIONS OF PEACHES... PEACHES FOR ME... MILLIONS OF PEACHES... PEACHES FOR FREE"

Double the U said...

"You're not going to make me pay for this are you?....heh... I didn't think so."

Dr. Doom said...

"Hmmm..." thought the President, "...I think I'll get Biden's wife to introduce me at the next campaign stop..."

Dr. Doom said...

President Obama: "I want to tell you about an economic success story. This peach was grown by a farmer who used a government organic farming grant to develop the strain. It was picked by a hard working Democrat voter from Costa Rica. It was brought to market in a solar powered truck developed under a government research grant. And best of all, because of a subsidy provided by my administration, it only costs $1.38 per unit. That is a great example of the government spending $434 Billion to improve our economy. Now I want you, the American consumer to get behind the program and buy up these peaches!"

Grocer: "You just ate the only one we have sir."

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Open mouth, insert peach?

-OR-

Tragedy struck today when Obamalama choked on a peach pit and his cadre of overpaid gophers and secret service agents failed to notice because they were all stuffing their pieholes and pockets over in the junk food aisle.

-OR-

THAWTBUBBLE: This is one peach that food sucking banshee won't get to shovel!

jimmy said...

Reporter: What's that in your back pocket, Mr. President?
Barry: CNN, NBC, The New York---oh, you mean *really* in my pocket? Heheh....{shovels peach in mouth to skirt the question}

Rodney Dill said...

"Say... isn't that Michelle Bachmann over there eating a banana."

Dr. Doom said...

The President instantly lost the entire south when Kayne West released his cover of the Allman Brother's classic Eat a Peach with Obama on the CD jacket.

Spin said...

Debbie Wasserman Schultz attempts a entrap Carpe by using "someone's" offspring.

His reply: a harshly worded comment.