1. One of Barney Franks "bridesmaids" got a little rowdy at the bachelor party.
2. Oh, Larry Craig, where have you been widening your stance this time?
3. Levi's new Bib'alls found a small but devoted following.
4. "Hello, Clarice... slurpslurpslurpslurpslurpslurp." Ang Lee has got to stop remaking movies.
5. "How dare Mitt Romney say I'm a freeloader just because I get five check from the Gubmint ever month. No way I vote for 'im. Course, I wasn't gonna vote for 'im anyways."
Best of metalgarth
Best of USMC2841
He's a lot prettier at closing time. I'm just sayin'.
Best of blue
"With heels, I'm 6'3"!!'
Best of Carpe Phlogiston
Thawtbubble: We need to spice up our sex life, Edgar. Just pretend, Edgar. You look cute, Edgar. Have another drink, Edgar. Nobody will see us cause we'll stay in the backyard, Edgar. But, I really want strawberry ice cream, Edgar. It's late, the Jiffymart will be empty, Edgar.
I'm gonna smack that broad senseless when I get home.
Best of Rodney Dill
...and his height is six foot fun.
Best of Double the U
And then the mean officer took away my matching wig.
Best of Spineless Vertebrae
"I would've never shot her if the bitch had admitted I looked fabulous in my new dress."
Best of Submariner
Uncle Morty obviously didn't understand when nephew V da K suggested he come to the family Halloween party as a "Pussy Pop."
Best of Jack Reacher
Sure, say it's harmless, but fifty years from now, this will be what Toddlers & Tiaras has wrought.
Best of Jack Reacher
Look at the bright side, Doug. As a unionized teacher, even this won't get you fired.
Best of Cat Whisperer
An open records request finally produces the photograph that was attached to the resume of Obama’s Safe School Czar.
Best of Dr. Doom
Another of the voters that Romney will never convince to vote for him...
Best of GregMan
"I would have gotten away with it, too, if it wasn't for those meddling kids and the smell they made when their bodies started decomposing!"
Best of Steve O
The strap of his dress is turned over. Is he ever going to be embarrassed when he sees that!
Best of Dactyl
It gets worse - there's a 240 pound drug dealer in the holding cell who's wearing the exact same outfit.