Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Fauxcahontas? Taxajawea?



1. Unable to ever honestly answer a question, Elizabeth Warren severely underestimates the size of the Chicago Teacher Union President's ass.

2. "I'm a BIG Liar, and I need a BIG cereal."

3. "Would you believe I'm 1/64th African-American? 'Mammy!'"

4. "He's got the whole world... in his hands... he's got the whole wide world... in his hands... C'mon clap with me, don't be uptight."

5. "Paleface Squaw need heap big wampum for campaign... so, donate today!"


Best of Double The U
I am here to announce my engagement to Ward Churchill.

Best of jimmy
"And then I walked into the green room, and who should I see but Sandra Fluke, who was on her knees doing this gesture for Bill Clinton! {gestures, opens mouth}She's such a great American!"

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
Being part injun is very special. I swear, I was this close to a cigar store indian once and it shed a tear! Some sort of mystical sign, omen, miracle... or maybe a billboard... I dunno for sure.

Best of Dr. Doom
"Can't we all get along? It was just a little white lie", pleaded Ms. Warren, "Can't we just bury the tomahawk... um smoke the peace pipe... er forgive and forget?"

Best of dadoctah
With both Steven Tyler and J-Lo out of the picture, Elizabeth figured her odds of qualifying with her rendition of "I Will Always Love You" were as high as they'd ever be.

Best of Submariner
Missed it by that much, Chief!

Best of Kaptain Krude
Gentlemen, please. Judge me not by the color of my skin. For I have always been there with you. I was there when George and Weezy moved on up to the East Side. Hallelujah! Those were happy times! But, I was also there for the bad times. When Florida lost James to that tragic auto accident. And I was there when Tootie got those terribly painful braces! Yes! And when Arnold Jackson got beat up by the Gooch, I was there. So before you decide I don't belong here, remember this: I was there!

20 comments:

GregMan said...

"No! Really! M'Chel's ass is THIS BIG!"

Double The U said...

I am here to announce my engagement to Ward Churchill.

Rodney Dill said...

"I'm sorry Barack, that's not what I thought Kemosabe meant."

Submariner said...

Hey Kobe; over here!

jimmy said...

"And then I walked into the green room, and who should I see but Sandra Fluke, who was on her knees doing this gesture for Bill Clinton! {gestures, opens mouth}She's such a great American!"

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Being part injun is very special. I swear, I was this close to a cigar store indian once and it shed a tear! Some sort of mystical sign, omen, miracle... or maybe a billboard... I dunno for sure.

-OR-

The Campptown ladies sing this song,
Doo-da, Doo-da
The Camptown racetrack's five miles long
Oh, de doo-da day

Goin' to run all night
Goin' to run all day
I bet my money on a bob-tailed nag
Somebody bet on the gray

Dr. Doom said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Dr. Doom said...

"Can't we all get along? It was just a little white lie", pleaded Ms. Warren, "Can't we just bury the tomahawk... um smoke the peace pipe... er forgive and forget?"

Spin said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Spin said...

Lieawatha speak with forked tongue

dadoctah said...

With both Steven Tyler and J-Lo out of the picture, Elizabeth figured her odds of qualifying with her rendition of "I Will Always Love You" were as high as they'd ever be.

Cat Whisperer (ORA Animal House) said...

“Remain calm! All is well! ALL IS WELL!”

And then she was trampled by a marauding band.

HLam said...

"Five. Five Dollar. Five Dollar Foot Long!"

Submariner said...

Five.
Five Trillion.
Five Trillion Subsidy...

Oops, Thursday already!

Six.
Six Trillion...

Submariner said...

Missed it by that much, Chief!

Submariner said...

Senator Frank is hemoraghing! Quick; someone toss me a butt plug.

'Bout this big...

metalgarth said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Spineless Vertebrae said...

After the sex toy company had her point only her right index finger, they had a mimic of Sandra Fluke's blow up doll.

Kaptain Krude said...

Looks like Baghdad Bob has been reincarnated.

Kaptain Krude said...

Gentlemen, please. Judge me not by the color of my skin. For I have always been there with you. I was there when George and Weezy moved on up to the East Side. Hallelujah! Those were happy times! But, I was also there for the bad times. When Florida lost James to that tragic auto accident.
And I was there when Tootie got those terribly painful braces! Yes! And when Arnold Jackson got beat up by the Gooch, I was there.
So before you decide I don't belong here, remember this: I was there!