Friday, September 28, 2012

Dark Lord of the School Crossing



1. Surprisingly, the penalty for slaughtering all the younglings in the Jedi Temple was 20 hours of community service.
2. Even the Evil Galactic Imperium had to bow to the Chicago Teacher's Union.
3. "Cool! Now choke the bitch in the Murano!"
4. "You are a part of the rebel alliance and a spy. And your Hello Kitty backpack is adorable!"
5. "Her toothpick legs are due to M'Chel's school lunch calorie restrictions."


Best of metalgarth
It's not any worse than any of the other prequels.

Best of dadoctah
"Not our first choice for the job, but drivers were actually speeding up *trying* to run down Jar-Jar Binks."

Best of Shayne
"I've changed the traffic patterns. Pray I do not change them further."

Best of Dr. Doom
The job market for washed up Sith Lords was pretty soft. Fortunately the Obama Administration was looking for a new Safe Schools Czar...

Best of Rodney Dill
Darth: "I find your lack of faith in line with the separation of church and state."

Best of Kaptain Krude
"Leia?" A chance meeting in this timeline completely erases his reality. Now Luke Skywalker is a man out of time. He must repair his reality by using Doc Brown's Delorean time machine to go... Back to the Star Wars.
"Nah," said George Lucas and Steven Spielberg in unison, "Not even the geekboys would believe that!"

20 comments:

metalgarth said...

No one ever drove 21mph in the school zone again. Ever.

metalgarth said...

It's not any worse than any of the other prequels.

rodney dill said...

Kid; "You are NOT my father pervert."

rodney dill said...

There are not the tots you are looking for.

rodney dill said...

I will show you the darkside of the playground.

rodney dill said...

"Pissed of Principal Palpatine again, eh?"

rodney dill said...

Darth: (muttering) "If I hear one more Uranus joke I'll......"

dadoctah said...

"Not our first choice for the job, but drivers were actually speeding up *trying* to run down Jar-Jar Binks."

Shayne said...

"I've changed the traffic patterns. Pray I do not change them further."

Rodney Dill said...

"Pissed off Principal Palpatine again, eh?"

Carpe Phlogiston said...

By the end of a day in the hot sun, Mr. Garpul forgot about the power of stop signs and believed he actually controlled the Force. Sadly, his attempt to stop a nearby passing train ending rather badly.

Mr Hankey said...

Kyle gladly follows Teneshia to the dark side to experience the dark meat..

Spin said...

Thawtbubble:
"wonder if he gives good helmet?"

dadoctah said...

Terrorists discover a new way to infiltrate our institutions.

Dr. Doom said...

The job market for washed up Sith Lords was pretty soft. Fortunately the Obama Administration was looking for a new Safe Schools Czar...

Rodney Dill said...

Darth: "I find your lack of faith in line with the separation of church and state."

Kaptain Krude said...

"Leia?" A chance meeting in this timeline completely erases his reality. Now Luke Skywalker is a man out of time. He must repair his reality by using Doc Brown's Delorean time machine to go... Back to the Star Wars.

"Nah," said George Lucas and Steven Spielberg in unison, "Not even the geekboys would believe that!"

Kaptain Krude said...

Sammy cranked up the radio and sang along to his best-known hit. "I can't drive... fifty-" Little did he know that Darth Vader hated the color red.

Kaptain Krude said...

ORA: "This is a very strange road you're sending me down, kids. I've seen yellow stripes in the middle of the road before, but uh kids, never any quite that wide."

Rodney Dill said...

Even as an adult, Timmy never could connect that his Superbowl commercial appearance wasn't a real manifestation of his powers.