Friday, September 28, 2012
Dark Lord of the School Crossing
1. Surprisingly, the penalty for slaughtering all the younglings in the Jedi Temple was 20 hours of community service.
2. Even the Evil Galactic Imperium had to bow to the Chicago Teacher's Union.
3. "Cool! Now choke the bitch in the Murano!"
4. "You are a part of the rebel alliance and a spy. And your Hello Kitty backpack is adorable!"
5. "Her toothpick legs are due to M'Chel's school lunch calorie restrictions."
Best of metalgarth
It's not any worse than any of the other prequels.
Best of dadoctah
"Not our first choice for the job, but drivers were actually speeding up *trying* to run down Jar-Jar Binks."
Best of Shayne
"I've changed the traffic patterns. Pray I do not change them further."
Best of Dr. Doom
The job market for washed up Sith Lords was pretty soft. Fortunately the Obama Administration was looking for a new Safe Schools Czar...
Best of Rodney Dill
Darth: "I find your lack of faith in line with the separation of church and state."
Best of Kaptain Krude
"Leia?" A chance meeting in this timeline completely erases his reality. Now Luke Skywalker is a man out of time. He must repair his reality by using Doc Brown's Delorean time machine to go... Back to the Star Wars.
"Nah," said George Lucas and Steven Spielberg in unison, "Not even the geekboys would believe that!"