1. Rosie O'Donnell always consults her Yoga Instructor before making a big decision.
2. Helen Thomas is reportedly enjoying her retirement.
3. Every day at 5:00, Earl feeds the Metaphor for the Federal Bureaucracy.
4. Senator Mikulski explains to an elderly constituent how ObamaCare doesn't really cut Medicare.
5. Even by Enumclaw standards, Earl's tastes were considered... exotic.
Best of Spin
Juan welcomes Horshack to 'Sweathog Heaven'
Best of metalgarth
Sir, we don't do that kind of thing here on Animal Farm, even if it didn't make to the list of commandments painted on the barn.
Best of GregMan
A Heartbroken Gus, now known as "Mohammed", breaks up with his girlfriend in Enumclaw after converting to Islam.
Best of Carpe Phlogiston
psst pssst
Reincarnation's a bitch. Pass.it.on.
Best of dadoctah
Pork: it's what's for dinner, a movie, and maybe a little dancing.
Best of Dr. Doom
"I'm afraid I have bad news Petunia", whispered the farmer's wife, "The First Lady is coming to town... and um... you know how she loves her some ribs..."
Best of Dactyl
Achmed the suicide bomber meets his first virgin.
14 comments:
Juan welcomes Horshack to 'Sweathog Heaven'
"When you're legitimately porked, your body has ways of shutting that down."
Sir, we don't do that kind of thing here on Animal Farm, even if it didn't make to the list of commandments painted on the barn.
Leonard Nemoy's final Vulcan mind meld answers the burning question: Why do so many career politician's feed at the public trough?
-OR-
ACORN activist trying to register the undecided.
-OR-
Avon produces a new line of lipstick for Wal-mart shoppers.
MEMO: Even resume writers are free to take my Idiot du Jour poll. :)
"M'Chel?"
A Heartbroken Gus, now known as "Mohammed", breaks up with his girlfriend in Enumclaw after converting to Islam.
psst pssst
Reincarnation's a bitch. Pass.it.on.
-OR-
A recent mural discovered near the Parthenon in Greece depicts Socrates' brief flirtation with pig Latin.
Pork: it's what's for dinner, a movie, and maybe a little dancing.
"I'm afraid I have bad news Petunia", whispered the farmer's wife, "The First Lady is coming to town... and um... you know how she loves her some ribs..."
Senate candidate Akin consults with an adviser.
Famed plastic surgeon Milton Pudnik meets up with his old Teamster's client... "See, I said they'd never find you, Mr. Hoffa."
-OR-
"Ve haf vays of making you talk."
Only Porky knew where the truffles were stashed, and he wasn't talking.
-OR-
Originally, Stewart wasn't supposed to play opposite an invisible rabbit but each time he said this line, the entire studio broke out in guffaws...
Elwood P. Dowd: " I always have a wonderful time, wherever I am, whomever I'm with."
-OR-
"Eez it safe?"
For the remake, Bollywood hired Hoffman and Olivier lookalikes, but the sound of frying bacon just wasn't as eerie as that dentist's drill... except when it aired in Mecca.
ORA Marathon Man
Those are gonna be some ugly-ass truffles.
Achmed the suicide bomber meets his first virgin.
Sure glad I learned that trivia answer 'bout how fast a pig can strip a human carcass. Won't be no more kids on my lawn, I tell you what!
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