1. The "Committee for Determining What Things Liberals Are Allowed to Find Funny" reviews Jon Stewart's Application.
2. CNN still can't find a duo that recreates that "Parker-Spitzer" magic.
3. "Good evening, our top story tonight on 'Ironic Hipster News,' inter-generational relationships, not just for Muslims any more."
4. Everyone knew Taffy was different from the age of 5 when she gouged out the eyes of all her Barbie dolls.
5. "Is there a way to make black coffee even more bitter?" they both wondered.
Best of prince of leaves
Twenty years later, a Killer Bob-inhabited Agent Cooper still hangs out at the Double-R, hoping to pick up an underage prostitute.
Best of Double the U
Oh good! David Byrne and Tina Weymouth are speaking, maybe the Talking Heads will get back together.
Best of Son Of The Godfather
Where will you be when your Zoloft kicks in?
Best of Carpe Phlogiston
The Bad Seed, recently paroled and itching to fork somebody up.
The Dork, thinking he's about to get lucky.
Best of Rodney Dill
Good times at the Pie Hole
Best of metalgarth
Rachel Maddow and Dakota Fanning. Not your average Hollywood power couple.
Best of Dr. Doom
Performance artists Bonnie Jones and Jim Smith perform their off Broadway hit, Middle Class American Voters...
Best of Submariner
Whispered voiceover:
"We've replaced these diners' Splenda with crystalized Lithium. Let's see if they notice..."
Best of Spineless Vertebra
Alice became really disturbed, and obsessed with tea after visiting Wonderland.
Best of dadoctah
Purported to depict a young Mitt and Ann Romney during their courting days, the photo was discovered to be a fake when it was realized that none of the cups contained Sanka.
Best of GregMan
Two CapThis regulars wait patiently for the Best Ofs. Either that, or they're stoned off their asses.
27 comments:
Three decades since the debacle that was "Pink Lady and Jeff", Sid and Marty Krofft decide it's finally time to get back into the variety-show game.
Anthony Bourdain discovers why you really should make reservations...
Tonight on MSNBC:
"The Liberal O Face"
American Gothic
DNC Style
Now this is a "Freaky Friday" knockoff I'd actually pay to see!
Even including the controversial "Laura Palmer casting couch scene", Ang Lee's biopic of David Lynch was actually pretty tame by comparison to reality.
Twenty years later, a Killer Bob-inhabited Agent Cooper still hangs out at the Double-R, hoping to pick up an underage prostitute.
If you want to ride
Don't ride the white horse
Oh good! David Byrne and Tina Weymouth are speaking, maybe the Talking Heads will get back together.
Where will you be when your Zoloft kicks in?
The Bad Seed, recently paroled and itching to fork somebody up.
The Dork, thinking he's about to get lucky.
-OR-
The credibility of marriage counseling team Bonnie and Johnnie Appleby slipped a notch after she stabbed him 28 times with the pancake fork.
-OR-
The Main Street Diner fry cook's "Customers from Behind a 2-way Mirror" was a runaway best seller. Unfortunately, he's being sued by 274 past customers and whose adulterous trysts were outed.
"Could you pass the salt?"
"RACIST!"
Good times at the Pie Hole
He was disappointed to find out that the "Hot Chocolate" was just a drink. She felt the same way about the "Hoegaarden"
Rachel Maddow and Dakota Fanning. Not your average Hollywood power couple.
Pregnant Pause
Who hasn't felt like this on a blind date?
-OR-
Floyd felt like a complete fool. How could he have bought a used Stepford Wife without a warranty?
-OR-
Telepaths are creepiest when they start arguing.
Performance artists Bonnie Jones and Jim Smith perform their off Broadway hit, Middle Class American Voters...
Test marketing for Obama Campaign slogans was excruciating...
Whispered voiceover:
"We've replaced these diners' Splenda with crystalized Lithium. Let's see if they notice..."
Alice became really disturbed, and obsessed with tea after visiting Wonderland.
Noted henpecked ventriloquist Henry "Milquetoast" Clemson retired when people stopped paying to see his extremely depressing show; but, he was never able to get away from his dummy. OUCH! Sorry! I mean puppet.
-OR-
"Did she just pick up a fork?"
After Gus found the Chinga doll washed up on the beach, he brought it to the diner. Big mistake.
ORA X-Files
Which Olson twin is this?
Purported to depict a young Mitt and Ann Romney during their courting days, the photo was discovered to be a fake when it was realized that none of the cups contained Sanka.
I see that Keith Olbermann (l) and Rachel Maddow (r) are getting ready to do color commentary for the Democratic National Convention.
Voters, like these two cornered in a diner by Ron Paul supporters, have been known to chew off their own legs to effect an escape...
Two CapThis regulars wait patiently for the Best Ofs. Either that, or they're stoned off their asses.
"Have a seat, Mr. So-Called Conservative," Jef intoned solemnly. "We hear that you like to see pictures of tits and animals humping on your websites. Well, this is not the Internet, mister. This is real life!" Life in 2013 became unreal with Obama's surprise victory for his second term.
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