Tuesday, August 14, 2012
Anderson Cooper's Wife Caught Cheating
1. "Hey, you kids.... get off on my lawn," shrieked old man Barney Frank.
2. A little while later, Mitch developed a rash. After performing the standard Wasserman-Schulz test, the doctor confirmed it was syphilis.
3. So, that explains why the Coopers have the worst cut lawn AND the highest-paid groundskeeper.
4. Most of the public never realized that 'Anderson Cooper 360' was his code for a reacharound.
5. "You kiss well." "Thanks, Harry Reid started teaching me when I was eight."
Best of Carpe Phlogiston
David Attenborough whispers: OMG, why the hell didn't someone put a sign next to that motion-sensor wildlife camera?
Best of Spineless Vertebrae
It will always be too soon for Ang Lee to remake The Hunger Games.
Best of Spin
Albino sugar daddy was not amused
Best of Dr. Doom
If you did not immediately notice the topless blonde in this photograph, I have some news for you...
Best of prince of leaves
"Secretary Clinton showed me this *great* way to keep looking young. Let me show you how it works..."