Monday, August 20, 2012

After 4 Years of the SCOAMF, We Could Use Some R&R

This is kind of like 1980 all over again... If George HW Bush had been the nominee and Ronald Reagan the token conservative added to the ticket to excite the base.


1. "Sorry, old chum, should have warned you about the strength of my Mighty Mormon Trouser Coughs. They cause cancer in women, but you should be fine."
2. "Hey Paul, have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight?"
3. "My secret plans for Global Domination are hidden in my tax returns."
4. "Did you bring the chains, Paul? You were supposed to bring the chains!"
5. At a campaign stop in Virginia, Paul Ryan does a spot-on impression of a Biden campaign speech by making fart noises in his hands.




Best of dadoctah
So the GOP gives *itself* double facepalms?

Best of GregMan
"Mitt, I just can't quit you!"

Best of Son Of The Godfather
If Ryan can actually play that harmonica decently, we've already won.

Best of prince of leaves
"Yeah, well, after you've seen Cindy Sheehan flash her boobs at the stage a few...uh...dozen times, you'll learn to control the gag reflex."

Best of Double the U
and then...(giggle) and then I told them we are both really conservative.... bwaa ha ha

Best of Dr. Doom
Transcript of the CNN News Ticker after a Romney campaign stop:
Romney: "So after the desk clerk refused to have extra mints placed on my pillow, I bought the hotel chain, fired his whole family and gave his wife cancer."
Ryan: "Oh Mitt you absolutely slay me!"

Best of Submariner
Here's a little number we like to call "The low-down, smug-faced, dirtly lyin' MSM blues."

13 comments:

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Man up, you teary-eyed p*ssy. We've a country to enslave!

-OR-

Have you heard the one where three 1-percenters and an OWS guy walk into a bar? The OWS fellow asks for a glass of water, the 1-percenters run up a big bar tab drinking fancy whiskey and then stick him with the check! Har Har Har

-OR-

The acoustics here are awful. Every time I say, "I already gave" it comes out "I own a slave."
That's not the acoustics, that's your conscience! Don't worry, you'll learn to ignore it.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

How 'bout these bumper stickers?
Todd Aiken, the new Sarah Palin! or Todd Aiken... at least he's not Joe Biden!

-OR-

Look, I'm gonna have to disawow Todd Aiken's slut rape theory BUT I want you to go out and float trial balloons... does our base think him better qualified for Surgeon General or Supreme Court Justice?

dadoctah said...

So the GOP gives *itself* double facepalms?

GregMan said...

"Mitt, I just can't quit you!"

GregMan said...

"There, there, Paul, I didn't mean it when I said your ears looked just like Obama's."

Son Of The Godfather said...

If Ryan can actually play that harmonica decently, we've already won.

prince of leaves said...

"Yeah, well, after you've seen Cindy Sheehan flash her boobs at the stage a few...uh...dozen times, you'll learn to control the gag reflex."

prince of leaves said...

"Wrong direction - the smell is coming from the Occupy idiots protesting at the gate, not the feedlot down the road."

Double the U said...

and then...(giggle) and then I told them we are both really conservative.... bwaa ha ha

Dr. Doom said...

Mr Ryan involuntarily executes a facepalm after hearing the latest Joe Biden quote...

Dr. Doom said...

Transcript of the CNN News Ticker after a Romney campaign stop:

Romney: "So after the desk clerk refused to have extra mints placed on my pillow, I bought the hotel chain and then fired his whole family."
Ryan: "Oh Mitt you absolutely slay me!"

Submariner said...

ORA?

"...the same thing we do EVERY night, Pinky..."

Submariner said...

Here's a little number we like to call "The low-down, smug-faced, dirtly lyin' MSM blues."