Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Talk to the Hand


1. "And now you see why you should never let grandma catch you masturbating."
2. "Come with me if you want to live."
3. "With these cybernetic implants, my pimp hand is 2000% stronger."
4. "IED? No, kid. I tried to take M'Chel's eatin' shovel away before she was done."
5. The weird part is, if Anakin and Padme had just settled down in suburban Milwaukee it still would have been a better movie than ANY of the prequels.

7 comments:

blu said...

Baby: "Sheriff Joe says it's a fake!"

Rodney Dill said...

Ed decided the voice command model hadn't been such a good idea, after deciding to fondle himself and using the command, "Bionic Hand. Jerk it off."

Double the U said...

SEE WHAT YOUR TOXIC DIAPERS DID TO MY HAND?

Dr. Doom said...

"And under Mr. Obama's leadership by the time you are old enough to pay taxes, it will be an arm AND a leg", explained Robert...

Carpe Phlogiston said...

The VA says they've arrested the 3 hackers who inserted the notorious "Nosepicker" malware into military prosthetics. Dave would never again have to say, "It wasn't a PICK! Honest, it wasn't a PICK!"
ORA Seinfeld

-OR-

VA doctors admit to misinterpreting federal non-discrimination rules and immediately recall 934 black appendages given to Caucasion vets.

-OR-

One winter 9 years later, Calvin would begin building some very unusual snowmen.

PS: Private donations of money and time really help veterans - check with local hospital physical or mental therapy units, the USO and/or direct financial support of something like training Assistance Dogs for Vets. It's all good.

curly said...

Ang Lee’s remake of the “Baby Einstein” series won critical acclaim and an NEA grant.

Spineless Vertebra said...

"Now I just have to convince your mom that the only way to make me feel better about my fake arm is if she gets fake boobs."