Sunday, July 29, 2012

Sunday Blasphemy


1. "Oh, Stop Rushing. Chick-Fil-A isn't even open on Sundays."

2. "OMG, only a full immersion Baptism can erase the taint of that bizarre Olympics opening Ceremony."

3. "Well, now we're fugitives. And all we said was 'This Halibut is good enough for Jehovah.'"

4. "Stop fretting, Elisha. We are revered figures from the Old Testament. No one's going to make any 'gay' jokes about us."

5. "And yonder is the Mountain the Breaketh Backs. Come, let us pasture our sheep there and share a tent."


Best of prince of leaves
"No, wait! Seriously! I'm telling you I really can heal that gimpy backwards right arm of yours!"

Best of prince of leaves
"No wait! I just want a couple minutes of your time to talk to you about Ronaius Paulus!"

Best of Dr. Doom
Mitt Romney's campaign advisers rushing to get to Chick-Fil-A before closing...

Best of jimmy
"We must rush, Matthew! SuperCuts closes at 6pm!"

Best of Spin
Hurry before they run out of Loaves and Fishes.

Best of metalgarth
Looks like they forgot about the lost Beatitude: "Blessed are those that are in the proper place when their laxative kicks in. For they will find comfort"

Best of Spineless Vertebrae
"We have no time to stop at Chick-Fil-A, Frodo, we must quickly destroy the one ring."

Best of Submariner
ORA? Vorpal bunny! Vorpal bunny! VORPAL BUNNY!

21 comments:

prince of leaves said...

"No, wait! Seriously! I'm telling you I really can heal that gimpy backwards right arm of yours!"

prince of leaves said...

"No, wait! When I said I had something that would get us stoned, I wasn't talking about the gruesome public spectacle of moral punishment!"

prince of leaves said...

Judea's men's relay team was sure to take the gold medal in the -8 Olympics, until Hoshiah somehow misplaced the baton in the folds of his robes.

prince of leaves said...

"No wait! I just want a couple minutes of your time to talk to you about Ronaius Paulus!"

Anonymous said...

somewhere God is laughing his head off and saying send me V the K.we need his humor

GregMan said...

ORA: "Quick! The King said fetch the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch!"

Midnight Ramblings said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Dr. Doom said...

Mitt Romney's campaign advisers rushing to get to Chick-Fil-A before closing...

Submariner said...

And "The One's" sent forth disciples two by two in search of a positive favorbility rating.

Submariner said...

Run faster, dammit; M'Chel has THAT look in her eye!

Submariner said...

Hurry, Hezekiah; the dark is gaining on us...

Submariner said...

Hurry Jed, I don't want to miss out on watching Miss M wash off the mud suit!

jimmy said...

"We must rush, Matthew! SuperCuts closes at 6pm!"

Spin said...

Hurry before they run out of Loaves and Fishes.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

A 1000 years from now the Greeks won't be making cross-country runners wear these damned robes and sandals! I'm telling you Ezekial, Roman bathhouse fashions will be IN.

-OR-

Jezz, Hezichia, you said, "Just drop the flaming basket of donkey manuer on the Roman's porch and pound on the door. He'll Never know who's behind the Saturnalia prank."
AND RUN! I specifically said, AND RUN, not stand there and wait for him to answer the door! Besides, how did I know his porch was made of dry wood?

-OR-


Holy crap, Batman, if my dad finds out what I wrote on the temple wall, he'll crucify me!
He's gonna crucify you if he learns about US, Robin, so stop running like a pansey.

metalgarth said...

Looks like they forgot about the lost Beatitude:

"Blessed are those that are in the proper place when their laxative kicks in. For they will find comfort"

Spineless Vertebrae said...

"We have no time to stop at Chick-Fil-A, Frodo, we must quickly destroy the one ring."

Submariner said...

You puff really shouldn't huff... puff have puff yelled, "Smite me, huff... puff oh Mighty huff... puff Smiter!huff

Submariner said...

ORA?
Vorpal bunny!
Vorpal bunny!
VORPAL BUNNY!

Submariner said...

"Yeah, though we walk through the Valley of Death..."
"Walk sheol, RUN!

Submariner said...

Sully was thoroughly dissapointed with the results of his web search for "Hebrew boys" AND "runs"