Monday, July 09, 2012

Obama Whips Out His Tool


1. It got worse when Slim Pickens showed up and asked him to sing 'Camptown Ladies.'
2. Stupid bastard couldn't handle a pick if there were a booger at the end of it.
3."I haven't handled a tool this big since my Man's Country days."
4. Thoughtbubble. "I can tell these stupid bitter clingers are impressed with the manly and certain way I wield this... whatever it's called."
5. "Yeah, you shoulda made that left turn at Albuquerque. Somebody wipe these rabbit brains off my pick."


Best of Carpe Phlogiston
What do you mean, it's a fire ant mound? These little...OMFG!!! GET 'EM OFF! EEEK!!! GET 'EM OFF!!

Best of dadoctah
One day at the arugula mines....

Best of Cat Whisperer
Desperate to borrow more money, the President digs a hole to China.

Best of Rodney Dill
"Dammit, this is where the ball landed... this is where we put the green and the hole."

Best of Double the U
It wasn't so much the way he swung the pick but the little nasal squeaky sound he made as he swung it.

Best of blue
Let's see...birth certificate, college transcripts, passports, draft card, social security card.....

Best of Submariner
"...and Rahm's a-grinnin'"

Best of metalgarth
Carl finally made sure that Lenny wasn't going to talk to Smithers after hours again.

Best of  Jack Reacher
"Throwing people under the bus is so 2008. Now it's Whack-A-Former-Ally."

Best of GregMan
This would be a lot more impressive if he didn't need the TelePrompTer to tell him which end to hold.

Best of prince of leaves
After "shovel-ready" became an unfunny punch-line, it was time for a brilliant new think-outside-the-box jobs strategy from the Lightworker's brain-trust. Thus, "pick-ready" was born.

Best of Steve O
Obama demonstrates his semi-mastery of another blunt instrument with another ceremonial activity having no actual or apparent benefit.

And he's also shown here with a pickaxe.

Best of Dactyl
"Some people say, if you're in a hole you should stop digging. I say, uh, they're just trying to avoid digging their fair share."



35 comments:

Son Of The Godfather said...

What makes him think he can handle a pick when he can't even handle a single hoe?

blue said...

ah shit, we done stuck oil...how we gonna hide that?

chronos the wonder pig said...

the last time I wore gloves when when me & Reggie played proctologist..

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Are you sure this is the right way to make an underground railway for all those illegals I'm trying to help sneak into the country?

-OR-

So THIS is where all the bodies are buried! I told you there were no skeletons in my closet.

-OR-

To think my ancestors dug like this for tubers until they were "saved" by friendly immigration experts. You won't hear Al Sharpton or Jesse Jackson mention that!

Kaptain Krude said...

"Eeek! A spider! Kill it, kill it!"

dadoctah said...

"I'm the guy who killed Osama bin Laden, Moammar Khaddafi, Kim Jong Il, and that restaurant lady in Ohio. I'll be damned if I'm gonna let some damn gopher get out of here alive!"

Carpe Phlogiston said...

What do you mean, it's a fire ant mound? These little...OMFG!!! GET 'EM OFF! EEEK!!! GET 'EM OFF!!

dadoctah said...

One day at the arugula mines....

Spineless Vertebra said...

"Okay, got the picture of my single swing? Good, now to the golf course!"

Cat Whisperer said...

Desperate to borrow more money, the President digs a hole to China.

Rodney Dill said...

"Dammit, this is where the ball landed... this is where we put the green and the hole."

Double the U said...

It wasn't so much the way he swung the pick but the little nasal squeaky sound he made as he swung it.

Rodney Dill said...

Picker... I don't even know her.

blue said...

Let's see...birth certificate, college transcripts, passports, draft card, social security card.....

Submariner said...

"...and Rahm's a-grinnin'"

Submariner said...

Thought bubble: "Good thing I'm not wearing mittens..."

metalgarth said...

Carl finally made sure that Lenny wasn't going to talk to Smithers after hours again.

metalgarth said...

"Can't we get some White Hispanic to do this hard work?"

Jack Reacher said...

"Still not seeing my poll numbers. Maybe a few more swings."

Jack Reacher said...

"Throwing people under the bus is so 2008. Now it's Whack-A-Former-Ally."

GregMan said...

This would be a lot more impressive if he didn't need the TelePrompTer to tell him which end to hold.

GregMqan said...

"I know the economic recovery has got to be in here somewhere!"

prince of leaves said...

After "shovel-ready" became an unfunny punch-line, it was time for a brilliant new think-outside-the-box jobs strategy from the Lightworker's brain-trust. Thus, "pick-ready" was born.

prince of leaves said...

Thoughtbubble: "Dammit, when Reggie said there was going to be a mandrill involved, I expected..."

prince of leaves said...

Somewhere in Hell, Lester Maddox is laughing at the irony.

stylinjulie said...

"...if anybody axe me..."

JohnS1959 said...

The President puts the final touches on his efforts to rid Amerikkka of the Constitution...

Steve O said...

Obama demonstrates his semi-mastery of another blunt instrument with another ceremonial activity having no actual or apparent benefit.

Steve O said...

Obama demonstrates his semi-mastery of another blunt instrument with another ceremonial activity having no actual or apparent benefit.

And he's also shown here with a pickaxe.

Dactyl said...

"Some people say, if you're in a hole you should stop digging. I say, uh, they're just trying to avoid digging their fair share."

Spin said...

Get that "real" black man a shovel to lean on too.

Rodney Dill said...

You can't pick your relatives, but you can pick your friends.

dadoctah said...

John Henry vs the steam drill, revisited.

Rodney Dill said...

Sorry Biden, It was an Axe-ident

Spineless Vertebrae said...

"Maybe if I find some damn oil, I can sell it and become richer! I mean, uh, distribute to the poor."