Monday, July 09, 2012
Obama Whips Out His Tool
1. It got worse when Slim Pickens showed up and asked him to sing 'Camptown Ladies.'
2. Stupid bastard couldn't handle a pick if there were a booger at the end of it.
3."I haven't handled a tool this big since my Man's Country days."
4. Thoughtbubble. "I can tell these stupid bitter clingers are impressed with the manly and certain way I wield this... whatever it's called."
5. "Yeah, you shoulda made that left turn at Albuquerque. Somebody wipe these rabbit brains off my pick."
Best of Carpe Phlogiston
What do you mean, it's a fire ant mound? These little...OMFG!!! GET 'EM OFF! EEEK!!! GET 'EM OFF!!
Best of dadoctah
One day at the arugula mines....
Best of Cat Whisperer
Desperate to borrow more money, the President digs a hole to China.
Best of Rodney Dill
"Dammit, this is where the ball landed... this is where we put the green and the hole."
Best of Double the U
It wasn't so much the way he swung the pick but the little nasal squeaky sound he made as he swung it.
Best of blue
Let's see...birth certificate, college transcripts, passports, draft card, social security card.....
Best of Submariner
"...and Rahm's a-grinnin'"
Best of metalgarth
Carl finally made sure that Lenny wasn't going to talk to Smithers after hours again.
Best of Jack Reacher
"Throwing people under the bus is so 2008. Now it's Whack-A-Former-Ally."
Best of GregMan
This would be a lot more impressive if he didn't need the TelePrompTer to tell him which end to hold.
Best of prince of leaves
After "shovel-ready" became an unfunny punch-line, it was time for a brilliant new think-outside-the-box jobs strategy from the Lightworker's brain-trust. Thus, "pick-ready" was born.
Best of Steve O
Obama demonstrates his semi-mastery of another blunt instrument with another ceremonial activity having no actual or apparent benefit.
And he's also shown here with a pickaxe.
Best of Dactyl
"Some people say, if you're in a hole you should stop digging. I say, uh, they're just trying to avoid digging their fair share."