Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Carnivorous Beach Chair strikes again.

I Forget Who Sent This. My bad.



1. "Aieeeeeeeee! Gojira!"
2."Take Kirstie Ally to the beach, you said. It'll be fun, you said."
3. Michael Moore remembered the two drums of bean dip but forgot the desk of Fritos. Angrily, he stamped back to the Bentley.
4. "Well Becky, that's Mercury, the closest planet to the sun. What it's doing down here on the beach. I haven't the foggiest, we should probably go ask a scientist."
5. Sumo groupies more than made up for the occasional humiliations.


Best of Steve O
Oh man. Check out the size of those beer cans. I think I can piece together what happened here.

Best of dadoctah
"Puny humans! Hulk embarrass!"

Best of prince of leaves
Chaz Bono's first post-op visit to the beach didn't turn out the way he'd dreamed it would.

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
Don't nobodies move! I dropped a contact... and my stash of snickerdoodles!

Best of Rodney Dill
OMG! Fifi was sleeping on that chair.

Best of whacko
"Don't get too close, Becky, you'll get pulled into its gravitational pull."

Best of GregMan
"No no no, TOILET TUNA, not BEACH WHALE!"

Best of Uchuck the Tuchuck
As Denise and Hannah watched in terror, the possessed lawn chair devoured Rosie.

Best of Spineless Vertebrae
Okay, I'm 100% convinced that that is a damn moon.

Best of Kaptain Krude
"That's no moon! That's a... well, no, it's not that, either. Just... run for it!"

Best of Kaptain Krude
"Oh.. my... God, Becky, look at her butt! She's one of those rap guy's girlfriends! It's just so... white!" Sir Mix-A-Lot's comeback record and accompanying video hit an unforeseen snag.



19 comments:

Steve O said...

Oh man. Check out the size of those beer cans. I think I can piece together what happened here.

dadoctah said...

"Puny humans! Hulk embarrass!"

prince of leaves said...

Chaz Bono's first post-op visit to the beach didn't turn out the way he'd dreamed it would.

prince of leaves said...

The newly-minted papparazzo was excited to get his first celebrity side-boob shot, even if it was John Travolta's.

prince of leaves said...

The bikini babes were later banned from the beach over their cruel habit of ringing ice-cream truck bells around sleeping fatties.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

The representative of the PCALC (Prevention of Cruelty to Aluminum Lawnchairs) discusses solutions with a member of Green Peace who's come to save the whale.

-OR-

David Attenborough whispers: The new species of man, Lazyboyus Fatticus, has a tailbone shaped like a chair. As with the penis, size matters.

-OR-

Whatchu mean, "Pity the chair? Pity his gurlfren!"
"What he need with a gurlfren, gurlfren? He got boobs and enuff junk in his own trunk!"

-OR-

Don't nobodies move! I dropped a contact... and my stash of snickerdoodles!

-OR-

There's never a can of SPF 10W40 around when you need one.

Rodney Dill said...

Why Hutts didn't do much sunbathing on Tatooine.

Rodney Dill said...

OMG! Fifi was sleeping on that chair.

Rodney Dill said...

"I don't remember eatin' dat."

whacko said...

"Don't get too close, Becky, you'll get pulled into its gravitational pull."

metalgarth said...

Where will you be when your laxative kicks in

GregMan said...

"No no no, TOILET TUNA, not BEACH WHALE!"

Uchuck the Tuchuck said...

As Denise and Hannah watched in terror, the possessed lawn chair devoured Rosie.

Uchuck the Tuchuck said...

Crap. I didn't read the title of the post, making my caption appear quite stupid.

Spineless Vertebrae said...

Okay, I'm 100% convinced that that is a damn moon.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

WTF? Last month Marcie was as trim as we are! She puts the YO in yo-yo diet.

-OR-

Where have we seen her before?
Wal-Mart

-OR-

Poor thing. I heard she went in for a little liposuction and there was a power surge in the OR.

Kaptain Krude said...

"That's no moon! That's a... well, no, it's not that, either. Just... run for it!"

Kaptain Krude said...

"Oh.. my... God, Becky, look at her butt! She's one of those rap guy's girlfriends! It's just so... white!" Sir Mix-A-Lot's comeback record and accompanying video hit an unforeseen snag.

Dactyl said...

"Come on, Susie, let's get out of here before his laxative kicks in!"