Friday, June 29, 2012

Where Will You Be When Your Contempt of Congress Citation Kicks In?



1. Horrified at its role in the murder of 300 Mexicans and 2 Border Patrol agents, Eric Holder's right eye attempts to escape from his skull.

2. Must. Hold, In. Fart. Until. After. Hearing.

3. "Damn,what am I gonna do about Issa. Wait a minute! Those FALN terrorists owe me a favor, don't they?"

4. "That's the last time I ask you for legal advice, Thing."

5.Every Who down in Whoville liked firearms a lot, but the Grinch, who lived in The District - did not. The Grinch hated Firearms - the whole Second Amend. Now, please don't ask why; no one quite knows, my friend. It could be, perhaps, that his shoes were too tight. Or it could be that his head wasn't screwed on just right. But I think that the most likely reason of all... may have been that his brain was two sizes too small. But, whatever the reason, his brain or his shoes, he stood there in DC, hating the Whos. Staring down from his cave, with a sour grinchy frown, at the warm, lighted windows below in their town. " I must stop this *whole* thing! Why, for fifty-three years I've put up with it now. I must stop the right to bear arms .. but how?"


Best of Cat Whisperer
“Darrell Issa, these are not the droids ... I mean documents ... that you are looking for.”

Best of Dr. Doom
"Why did I smuggle guns into Mexico?", thought The Attorney General, "I should have listened to the Secret Service and smuggled hookers out of Mexico..."

Best of Shayne
Eric the Red just woke up from dreaming about Hillary and Pelosi in an erotic embrace.

Best of prince of leaves
After the traumatic "Basic Instinct" incident involving Nancy Pelosi, Secretary Holder could never again bear to enter a hearing room without modesty panels.

Best of prince of leaves
Eric Holder catches Maxine Waters obscenely wiggling her tongue at him. Again.

Best of prince of leaves
Eric Holder discovers the hard way the truth about Darrell Issa's Scanner powers.

Best of Rodney Dill
I didn't really want to be Attorney General anyway... I always wanted to be... a Lumberjack....

18 comments:

Cat Whisperer said...

“Darrell Issa, these are not the droids ... I mean documents ... that you are looking for.”

Spineless Vertebrae said...

Holder does his best to duplicate The Rock's famous eyebrow lift.

Dr. Doom said...

"Yes Senator, I do have contempt for Congress", replied Mr. Holder, "Doesn't everyone?"

Dr. Doom said...

"Why did I smuggle guns into Mexico?", thought The Attorney General, "I should have listened to the Secret Service and smuggled hookers out of Mexico..."

Dr. Doom said...

"I bet I can get the Supreme Court to say the Fast and Furious guns were really a tax", thought Mr. Holder, "...yeah that's the ticket!"

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Contempt? Con-Tempt?
Isn't that what lobbyists do when they dangle money in front of you, Con-gressman?

-OR-

Thawtbubble: Holy crap, I think I'm having a stroke! Nope, just that damned kidney stone shifting again.

-OR-

All the bloviating and posturing by a bunch of mouthy hypocrites is giving me a freaking headache.

-OR-

Trying not to laugh when the ink's already dry on that presidential pardon ensconced in your safety deposit box.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

I gots my eye on yewww
Holder prepares to put the gypsy curse on his adversaries.

-OR-

Thawtbubble: Under the Republican healthcare plan, this nice glass eye would only be available to the richest 1% - the rest of the country would have to wear a pirate's patch.

-OR-

Oh good lord that ghey guy is blowing kisses at me again!

Shayne said...

Eric the Red just woke up from dreaming about Hillary and Pelosi in an erotic embrace.

prince of leaves said...

After the traumatic "Basic Instinct" incident involving Nancy Pelosi, Secretary Holder could never again bear to enter a hearing room without modesty panels.

prince of leaves said...

Eric Holder catches Maxine Waters obscenely wiggling her tongue at him. Again.

prince of leaves said...

Eric Holder discovers the hard way the truth about Darrell Issa's Scanner powers.

Dr. Doom said...

Mr. Holder discovers what it feels like to be probed by Congress...

Rodney Dill said...

Where will you be when your laxative kicks in?

Rodney Dill said...

I didn't really want to be Attorney General anyway... I always wanted to be... a Lumberjack....

Rodney Dill said...

Madness does not always howl. Sometimes, it is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, "Hey, is there room in your head for one more?"

GregMan said...

"Oh no! I really am supposed to protect the constitution! How could I have been so wrong!"

GregMan said...

That awful moment when you realize you have Teh Ghey.

Rodney Dill said...

"Oh God! Please don't let me kill again."