2. "Ignore the stinger! I do not SUCK at girls."
3. Standard Cap #93: "Serenity Now!"
4. Addressing dairy farmers in rural Wisconsin, Romney proceeds to demonstrate artificial insemination techniques on an imaginary cow.
5. "... and the pile of money in my third house is roughly this high."
Threadwinner! Threadwinner! Threadwinner! JohnS1959
Following the example of his predecessor, John McCain, Mitt Romney signals a turn to the left as soon as his nomination is assured...
Best of metalgarth
You must be at least this tall to ride my deficit roller coaster
Best of Spineless Vertebra
Hitler salute fail
Best of prince of leaves
"Arise! Be healed!" Romney the Mormon channels Adventists for his economic policy.
Best of prince of leaves
Mitt fires up the Mormon Tabernacle Choir in a rousing cover of "YMCA".
Best of Kaptain Krude
"I have HAD it up to here with these muthaf***in' Ron Paulites asking me if I've heard the muthaf***in' good news about Ron Paul!"
Best of Rodney Dill
Dog jumps this high everytime I bring out that car carrier.
Best of Carpe Phlogiston
The shocked audience sat slack-jawed as Mittens broke out into his rendition of Walk Like An Egyptian.
17 comments:
You must be at least this tall to ride my deficit roller coaster
Hitler salute fail
I really need to lower expectations to about... right here. Remember who I lost too last time; Mr. McFlunk.
"You want to see my left wing? There! See how silly that looks?"
Standard Cap #24 - Where will YOU be when your laxative kicks in?
"I'm a little teapot..."
"Arise! Be healed!" Romney the Mormon channels Adventists for his economic policy.
Mitt fires up the Mormon Tabernacle Choir in a rousing cover of "YMCA".
NO Soup For You!
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Perfect Job for Mitt: "With this handy dandy kitchen appliance, you can slice, dice, mince, chop, shred, grate and puree for only $29.95 plus s/h!"
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Don't worry, folks, these uncontrollable muscle spasms won't affect my ability to sign laws to oppress and persecute any group that doesn't march in lockstep with your religion.
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There are NO dumb questions! When I tell you to jump, I expect you ask, "how high?"
I wanted a corn dog... but this'll do.
-OR-
Seriously. When I win, I'm keeping Obamalama on... gonna set him on the front lawn at the White House dressed as a jockey.
You wonderfully naive gawd-fearing people are invited to a delicious feast funded by my Wall Street cronies right after this last bit of business... would the atheists and OWS supporters in the room please rise and walk thru that door and into the waiting trucks?
"I have HAD it up to here with these muthaf***in' Ron Paulites asking me if I've heard the muthaf***in' good news about Ron Paul!"
Dog jumps this high everytime I bring out that car carrier.
"...And, when you want to make a LEFT turn on your bike... This is what you do...."
Following the example of his predecessor, John McCain, Mitt Romney signals a turn to the left as soon as his nomination is assured...
The shocked audience sat slack-jawed as Mittens broke out into his rendition of Walk Like An Egyptian.
-OR-
Disco is dead? The hell you say!
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Romney points to one of the recently disgraced ex-Secret Service agent sitting in the audience as an example of how the Obamalama administration intentionally adds to the unemployment rolls.
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There is no "war on women" you slut! We simply want to keep you all barefoot and pregnant. If it's good enough for the Taliban... erm, wait, must.not.ad.lib.
"...and the Obama years of overly short shirtsleeves end now!"
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