Monday, June 04, 2012

God Save the Queen


1. "Damn! Missed Fergie's hips again. Can't bloody well see how."
2. And thus was the 'Camilla Problem' solved once and for all.
3.Alfred E. Neuman was impressed with the Queen's marksmanship.
4. "Bloody peasants!"
5. ORA: "Now who's dead, Morrissey?"


Best of Uchuck the Tuchuck
This image flashed through Her Majesty's mind as she accepted the iPod.

Best of GregMan
Frustrated after years of governmental waffling, Her Maj takes the obviious approach to dealing with Britain's muslim immigrant problem.

Best of Julie the Jarhead
Send back the Winston Churchill bust, will you, you SCOAMF!

Best of dadoctah
Three-eighths German ancestry finally makes itself evident.

Best of  Steve O
She looks as cool and as tough as Dukakis looked silly and effeminate. Fancy that.

Best of JohnS1959
"I told Lady Simms-Broyles what would happen if she wore one more stupid hat to a state function", cried Her Majesty...

Best of Dr. Doom
No Your Highness, you aren't the first old queen to fire that weapon", answered Colonel Syngen-Smythe, "We have several in the regiment."

Best of jimmy
Soldier thought-bubble: "I heard she was tough, but I never would have guessed this was what she had in that handbag all these years."

Best of prince of leaves
Wow, the pigeon problem in Trafalgar Square must be totally out of control these days.

Best of  Rodney Dill
The Queen just never could forgive Jake Blues.

Best of Submariner
Next time I expect to be posted on Thursday, "V the K." Have I made myself perfectly clear?

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
Stand still, Philip! I warned you what would happen if you uttered one bloody more double entendre about me sitting on the throne too long!

28 comments:

Uchuck the Tuchuck said...

This image flashed through Her Majesty's mind as she accepted the iPod.

metalgarth said...

C'mon lads. Let's go get our colonies back!

GregMan said...

Frustrated after years of governmental waffling, Her Maj takes the obviious approach to dealing with Britain's muslim immigrant problem.

Julie the Jarhead said...

Send back the Winston Churchill bust, will you, you SCOAMF!

dadoctah said...

Three-eighths German ancestry finally makes itself evident.

Steve O said...

She looks as cool and as tough as Dukakis looked silly and effeminate. Fancy that.

Shayne said...

Just see what happens the next time Obama gives me an iPod of this speeches!

JohnS1959 said...

"I told Lady Simms-Broyles what would happen if she wore one more stupid hat to a state function", cried Her Majesty...

Dr. Doom said...

No Your Highness, you aren't the first old queen to fire that weapon", answered Colonel Syngen-Smythe, "We have several in the regiment."

jimmy said...

Soldier thought-bubble: "I heard she was tough, but I never would have guessed this was what she had in that handbag all these years."

prince of leaves said...

Wow, the pigeon problem in Trafalgar Square must be totally out of control these days.

prince of leaves said...

The sergeant who witnessed the reptile skin exposed by the gun's recoil would later suffer an unexplained but quite gruesome fatal "accident".

prince of leaves said...

"Don't you know firearms are illegal in the UK, ma'am? I'm sorry but we're going to have to arrest you now..."

prince of leaves said...

The highlight of the Queen's off-record calendar was always the annual live-fire obstacle course for the new Double-O agents.

Mr Hankey said...

To hell with the Holy Hand Grenade!!!

Carpe Phlogiston said...

The Queen Mum ALWAYS wins the big teddy bear at the annual carnival.

-OR-

Thawtbubble: So, tourist, you think it's funny to make one of my Tower of London guards laugh? Who isn't laughing, now?

-OR-

How gauche. White gloves and gun metal grey?

-OR-

A full 8-minutes after the demo, Sgt. Riker will finally exhale, relieved his jerry-rigged anchor prevented recoil from knocking the Queen onto her royal keister.

-OR-

Much better than the photo ops we've seen from the Clinton, Bush and Obamalama handlers over the years.

Rodney Dill said...

iRule

Rodney Dill said...

The Queen just never could forgive Jake Blues.

Rodney Dill said...

Lock and Load…
Rock and Rule…

Rodney Dill said...

“I’ll show those bloody yanks ‘ow to ‘ave a tea party.”

Rodney Dill said...

"Got any more Camilla targets, boys?"

Submariner said...

Next time I expect to be posted on Thursday, "V the K." Have I made myself perfectly clear?

Submariner said...

Fine shootin' yer majesty. Prince Charlie's ear're almost down ta normal sized, now...

sonicfrog said...

2. And thus was the 'Prince Charles Problem' solved once and for all.

Rodney Dill said...

"This is nuthin', I bang off Phillips all the time."

Dr. Doom said...

"Of course I can hit my target Colonel. the Labour is in power you know", explained Queen Elisabeth, "I have learned you can't be too careful around socialists after what happened to cousin Nicky and the rest of the Romanovs..."

Spin said...

One Milliband brother down...

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Stand still, Philip! I warned you what would happen if you uttered one bloody more double entendre about me sitting on the throne too long!