Friday, June 01, 2012

Dad?

Schneider

1. "Yeah, yeah, I have take these supplies back to the Y-M-C-A. Ha! Ha! Ha, you Wal-Mart wage slaces are hilarious!"

2. "Will there be anything else, Ms Napolitano?"

3. Once again, Joe Biden desperately tries and fails to connect with the working class.

4. Key West Walmert Employees have learned to be pretty blase about whoever shows up.

5. "Wow! You can buy 20 oz sodas here. You hicks are so backward compared to us New York sophisticates."



Best of  Carpe Phlogiston
So, honey, are your buttocks real or did you get implants made out of quick-setting cement, super glue, mineral oil and Fix-A-Flat?


Best of Spineless Vertebrae
"Let me tell you about the FABULOUS house we're building!"


Best of Kaptain Krude
"Yes, I AM a macho, macho man. I wish you would stop singing that."

Best of  Submariner
You don't think the guys down at the dock will give me a hard time about my hard hat not matching my shirt, do you?


Best of  Dr. Doom
Bruce: "I'm buying protection in case I pick up a lady tonight. Do you think this will be enough?"
Shaniqua: "Yes - most definitely."


Best of joshua
So, it's my first day on the job and the boss sends me over here to buy some steel toe boots. I'm sure it's for safety reasons but it bothered me that I show up in sandals and everyone is looking at me like I committed a major fashion faux pas or something.

15 comments:

Jack Reacher said...

"I said I need a dressing room to try some things on. What's the problem?"

double the U said...

♩ Young man, Where can you go to save on your shorts?♬
♩ I said young man, ♪ Where can you go to get NASCAR team sports?

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Hi, Laverne. Like my crop top? Once the hormones kick in, I'm hoping my little puppies will show some serious underboob.

-OR-

So, honey, are your buttocks real or did you get implants made out of quick-setting cement, super glue, mineral oil and Fix-A-Flat?

-OR-

Why yes, I am divorced. How can you tell?

GregMan said...

On the plus side, he isn't a cannibal. Yet.

Spineless Vertebrae said...

"Let me tell you about the FABULOUS house we're building!"

Kaptain Krude said...

"Yes, I AM a macho, macho man. I wish you would stop singing that."




Good Gaia, now I've got that miserable song running through my mind.

Submariner said...

www.People of Walmart.com/San_ Francisco_Edition/ took Sully to his happy place.

Submariner said...

You don't think the guys down at the dock will give me a hard time about my hard hat not matching my shirt, do you?

Submariner said...

Jimmy Hoffa's witness protection plan was still working to perfection all these years later.

Submariner said...

Clerk's thawt bubble: "I SERIOUSLY doubt that 3 boxes of Trojans is gonna provide enough protection for this..."

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Oh? Gee, I must have grabbed that pack of erm glow-in-the-dark panties by um mistake. Well, what the heck, ring them up anyway. I'll just uh give them to my err wife. Yeah, that's what I'll do, give them to my wife. followed by weak grin as clerk raises eyebrow and says, "Yuh huh."

Steve O said...

The San Francisco Walmarts are just like every other Walmart... sort of.

Dr. Doom said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Dr. Doom said...

Bruce: "I'm buying protection in case I pick up a lady tonight. Do you think this will be enough?"
Shaniqua: "Yes - most definitely."

joshua said...

So, it's my first day on the job and the boss sends me over here to buy some steel toe boots. I'm sure it's for safety reasons but it bothered me that I show up in sandals and everyone is looking at me like I committed a major fashion faux pas or something.