Friday, May 25, 2012

There! Are! Four! Lights!


1. "So, you wanna marry my daughter Kim?"
2. "I ask you again Mr. Picard, how many jobs did Obama create or save?"
3. Inside the liberal mind: Being hung by your arms with your balls in a vise and a Cardassian pain device (or car battery) strapped to your nipples overnight is exactly the same as having water poured on your nose for two minutes.
4. "Get that grin off your face, Picard... Great Maker! I haven't seen a Star Fleet officer enjoy an anal probe so much since I interrogated Mr. Sulu."
5. Seth Macfarlane could be a real hardass when it came time to renegotiate contracts for voice work.

Best of Steve O
    Picard. Just tell me that it is Constitutional and you may go!

Best of Double the U
    Yes, I built it myself... in memory of Robin Gibb... I hope you like it!

Best of Kaptain Krude
    Katie Couric's sit-down interview series ran into a small snag when it came time to interview M'chell's long-lost family members.

Best of JohnS1959
    Results improved significantly when the Pentagon started using Nancy Pelosi for interrogations at Gitmo...

Best of Submariner
    Harry Reid prepares another DNC Operative for the "fly-over" states...

14 comments:

dadoctah said...

"So, you wanna marry my daughter Kim?"

I see what you did there.

Now let's see you play on Snookie Lanson and Snooki Polizzi.

captcha: tectonow onflesta. If itching develops, discontinue use.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

For the love of Froshneesh, Piccard, WHO is on FIRST, WHAT is on SECOND and I DON'T KNOW is on THIRD!!!!

Steve O said...

Picard. Just tell me that it is Constitutional and you may go!

Double the U said...

Yes, I built it myself... in memory of Robin Gibb... I hope you like it!

Kaptain Krude said...

"With the right lighting, even Rosie O'Donnell can look goo... ha ha ha! I almost made it through that time. OK, let me try that again..."

Kaptain Krude said...

"Gah! The glare from your bald head is blinding me! Maybe this torture isn't as well thought-out as I thought it was!"

Kaptain Krude said...

Katie Couric's sit-down interview series ran into a small snag when it came time to interview M'chell's long-lost family members.

JohnS1959 said...

Results improved significantly when the Pentagon started using Nancy Pelosi for interrogations at Gitmo...

JohnS1959 said...

Lt. Warf's holodeck simulations became increasingly disturbing over time...

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Of course I look like hell, Piccard. Haven't had a decent night's sleep since our Klingon neighbors bought that damned howling beast dog.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Don't Ask Don't Tell - Stardate 2591.4
Y'know, Piccard, in this light you look kinda cute.

Submariner said...

Harry Reid prepares another DNC Operative for the "fly-over" states...

dadoctah said...

♪♫"I dreamed a dream
In time gone by
When hope was high
And life worth living...."♫♪

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Stop me if you've heard this one. A Romulan, a Klingon and Tim "the Toolman" Taylor walk into a Polish bar and order smoked kielbasas, sauerkraut and pitchers of beer...

-OR-

Piccard, I'm dying up here. Worse than when those scientologists reanimated Andrew Dice Clay's corpse to be a spokesperson and improve their street cred. If you don't start laughing at my stand-up act I'll declare war on the entire Federation!

-OR-

The Longest Argument in History
Happy Stardate 2678! Let's have a show of hands... who's a birther?