Friday, May 11, 2012

In the Not Too Distant Future...


1. With the help of a generous stimulus grant, The Black Panthers got a lot more effective at voter suppression over the last four years.

 2. By 2016, the TSA's mission creep had really gotten out of hand; those who questioned their tactics were still dismissed as paranoid, anti-Government cranks.

3. "All right, take this Gay Marriage opponent to the Re-Education Camp with all the other h8rs."

4. "All I said was Obama hadn't lived up to the 2008 Hype." "Take this Racist! to the train station."

5. "Maybe this will teach you not to record Monday Night Football without the expressed, written consent of the NFL and ABC Sports."


Best of Rodney Dill
"Romney says we gotta cut your hair too pretty boy."

Best of metalgarth
(Alternate Future #42378 where V the K is supreme ruler) "Look, punk, your O.R. is little too O. next time stick to something from Futurama, Men in Black, Kentucky Fried Movie, or Blazing Saddles"

Best of Double the U
"STOP RESISTING! STOP RESISTING! or we will pepper-spray and taser your ass for a seventh time!"

Best of prince of leaves
Oddly enough it wasn't the info on chemtrails and FEMA death camps that got Alex Jones taken down, it was his expose of Michelle Obama's true BMI.

Best of Spin
"Don't rape me bro"

Best of JohnS1959
"OK, OK, I bought my kid one Happy Meal", cried Mr. Jones, "It won't happen again, I promise..."

Best of Dr. Doom
"But I'm not gay and I'm already married...to a woman", said Bobby to the Equity in Marriage Czar's SWAT Team.

Best of Dr. Doom
The Obama Administration Goon Squad finally catches up with VtheK. Best Ofs will be somewhat delayed...

Best of blue
When Obama says he's OK with gay marriage that means you are too....

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
Alright, VtheK, are you going to catch up on the "Best of's" or are we going to have to taze you again?

Best of Jack Reacher
Standard Cap. # 398
"Avenge me!"

21 comments:

Rodney Dill said...

"I already toldya, my name is Allen Kyda, but everyone calls me Al."

Rodney Dill said...

"Romney says we gotta cut your hair too pretty boy."

dadoctah said...

Dwarf-tossing. Ur doin it rong.

metalgarth said...

(Alternate Future #42378 where V the K is supreme ruler) "Look, punk, your O.R. is little too O. next time stick to something from Futurama, Men in Black, Kentucky Fried Movie, or Blazing Saddles"

Double the U said...

Police in full military style SWAT gear beating a person to the ground, jaywalking is a serious crime and the police union defended the officer's actions.

-or-

"STOP RESISTING! STOP RESISTING! or we will pepper-spray and taser your ass for a seventh time!"

prince of leaves said...

Sheesh, OWS has been going on since September, and the Public Health Service only *now* gets their rapid-response biohazard teams into the field?

prince of leaves said...

Oddly enough it wasn't the info on chemtrails and FEMA death camps that got Alex Jones taken down, it was his expose of Michelle Obama's true BMI.

prince of leaves said...

With the tranquilizers beginning to wear off, President Romney's Respectability Police prepare to release another newly-tonsured hippie back into the wild.

prince of leaves said...

Unfortunately for Tim, the CIA's bad intelligence *also* said that his Al Qaeda suicide bomb was hidden in his kiester.

Spin said...

"Don't rape me bro"

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Cough it up, Davey! Your mommy said "never swallow your chewing gum" but you just DID, didn't you you little jerk. The law is the law and applies to everyone except congressmen.

-OR-

If it weren't for blabbermouths like you, JP Morgan could have kept on gambling with derivatives and risking another melt down! Now you've ruined it for dozens of fat cats and you're gonna pay, boy.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Unbeknownst to his oppressors, Lester texted a Flash Mob Request just as the cops took him down. Corporal Swunk looked up just in time to see a large angy crowd gathering like crows on telephone poles. The end of police brutality came rather suddenly.

JohnS1959 said...

"OK, OK, I bought my kid one Happy Meal", cried Mr. Jones, "It won't happen again, I promise..."

Dr. Doom said...

"But I'm not gay and I'm already married...to a woman", said Bobby to the Equity in Marriage Czar's SWAT Team.

Dr. Doom said...

The Obama Administration Goon Squad finally catches up with VtheK. Best Ofs will be somewhat delayed...

blue said...

When Obama says he's OK with gay marriage that means you are too....

Jack Reacher said...

"Guys, I don't wanna tell you how to do your jobs, but shouldn't we be dressed as cowboys, or something?

Jack Reacher said...

"You're all cops? Where's the construction worker, the Indian..."

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Alright, VtheK, are you going to catch up on the "Best of's" or are we going to have to taze you again?

Jack Reacher said...

CP, that reminds me:
Caption This regulars demand "Best ofs" without delay from a resistant V the K.

Jack Reacher said...

Standard Cap. # 398
"Avenge me!"