Monday, May 14, 2012
1. "And so you'll understand why I am claiming this suburban house in the name of the people. Now, get your white asses outta here!"
2. "Abner, I'm flattered that the POTUS wanted to use our house for a campaign speech; but does he have to keep calling it a 'crackerbox.'"
3. The two retired union activists couldn't wait for the reporters to leave so they could take down that ghastly American flag and replace it with the hammer and sickle that usually flew there.
4. Another hint that Obama's ego was out of control; he told the old geezers that if they smeared the blood of a virgin over their door, he would tell the Death Panels to spare them.
5. "Abner, have you seen Rex around anywhere?"
Best of Dr. Doom
"I don't know", said Maude, "He mumbled something about bitter clingers and redistribution and then asked where he could plug in his teleprompter..."
Best of Dr. Doom
"And as you can plainly see, these people are still driving a gas guzzling SUV", related Mr. Obama, "Have Napolitano send them off to the re-education camps. Maybe a few years of building wind turbines will convince them of the wisdom of my economic policies..."
Best of jimmy
The handlers were smart to put up the black curtain, because the speech-ifying loses a lot of its luster when you can see Waylon Flowers operating the sticks and strings that makes Madame move and talk.
Best of Carpe Phlogiston
Obamalama blamed an inability to tie shoelaces for the failure of his folksy "Won't You Be My Neighbor?" slogan... not the white crowds chanting, "There goes the neighborhood. There goes the neighborhood."
Best of GregMan
"Shhh, Abner, don't startle him! Eventually he'll get bored and go away."
Threadwinner: Mr Hankey
Todd & Julie started putting out the scary Halloween decorations early this year.
Best of prince of leaves
"Umm, yooo-hooo! Your audience is over here to your left, Mr. President! Yes, both of us."
Best of Steve O
And then we're gonna go to the LIVING room!
And then we're gonna go to the LAUNDRY room!
And then we're gonna go to the KITCHEN!
And then we're gonna go to the BATHROOM and AIEEERRRGGGHHGHAA!!!!!