Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Angry Bieber


1. The Ghost of Christmas Past eventually had to give up because Bieber just didn't give a sh-t/
2. "Sorry, Justin, but you died from that bitch-slap. I am here to help transition you to the Afterlife."
3. Bieb seethed at his agent, "I don't care who this 'Barney Fag' is, I won't waive my fee for his wedding, and I definitely won't perform naked and greased for anyone but European royalty."
4. "No, JB, the purple shoes don't make you look ghey. Everything you have ever done in your entire life makes you look ghey."
5. "Sorry, Marilyn Manson, I don't have any spare change."

Best of Double the U But Mom, these shoes don't make me look stupid enough.... I wanted Crocks.  

Best of Spineless Vertebrae "Amy Winehouse! She lives!"  

Best of Jack Reacher "Some nimrod is suing me, I got a stone in my shoe, and now you want me to buy term papers? What? Oh, you just want to go to Old Navy. What the hell, Dawn?"  

Best of Dr. Doom "Dang it Cher", cried an exasperated Justin, "I don't care if you have to inject your face with virgin's blood twice a year. Leave me alone!"

Best of dadoctah The one memorable encounter in Nadia Suleman's new reality show.

Best of Submariner For the last time; No, Mr. Tyler - I don't want to do a National Anthem duet with you!  

Best of prince of leaves An instant before the "bath salts" took effect.  

Best of Carpe Phlogiston THERE you are! Where have you been?? I dunno! I think somebody slipped a rufie into my drink at the press conference. Next thing I remember, I'm standing here wearing 1 shoe and feeling very used.

16 comments:

Double the U said...

But Mom, these shoes don't make me look stupid enough.... I wanted Crocks.

Spineless Vertebrae said...

"Amy Winehouse! She lives!"

GregMan said...

Looks like Chaz Bono has managed to lose a few pounds.

Submariner said...

Standard Caption # 13:
Pardon me; do you have a moment for me to tell you about Ron Paul?


This time it works either way!

Submariner said...

Dammitall, Justin; how many times do I have to tell you that I wear the pants in this family?!?

Jack Reacher said...

"Yes, those socks definitely work with the purple shoes. You're good to go."

Jack Reacher said...

"Some nimrod is suing me, I got a stone in my shoe, and now you want me to buy term papers? What? Oh, you just want to go to Old Navy. What the hell, Dawn?"

Dr. Doom said...

"Dang it Cher", cried an exasperated Justin, "I don't care if you have to inject your face with virgin's blood twice a year. Leave me alone!"

dadoctah said...

The one memorable encounter in Nadia Suleman's new reality show.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Slouch down, will ya? The paparazzi can see you're taller than me.
Oh, honeyboi, you're going to have to get used to being the bottom.

Submariner said...

Not a Cap, just an observation:
Can you imagine being the photographer that had to admit that Justin Bieber kicked your a$$?

Submariner said...

For the last time; No, Mr. Tyler - I don't want to do a National Anthem duet with you!

prince of leaves said...

An instant before the "bath salts" took effect.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

THERE you are! Where have you been??
Bright lights. Space ship. Anal Probe.

-OR-

THERE you are! Where have you been??
I dunno! I think somebody slipped a rufie into my drink at the press conference. Next thing I remember, I'm standing here wearing 1 shoe and feeling very used.

sonicfrog said...

Beiber Salts!

Kaptain Krude said...

"No, I'm sorry, Justin, but just because you got into a shoving match with a photographer doesn't put you into the same league as Sean Penn. You also have to embrace a totalitarian dictator. Stop giggling, it means a brutal ruler. The word before that? Totalitarian. Totalitarian. To-tal-it-ar-ee-an. To-tal...screw it, just go embrace Hugo Chavez right now."