Tuesday, May 29, 2012
1. The Ghost of Christmas Past eventually had to give up because Bieber just didn't give a sh-t/
2. "Sorry, Justin, but you died from that bitch-slap. I am here to help transition you to the Afterlife."
3. Bieb seethed at his agent, "I don't care who this 'Barney Fag' is, I won't waive my fee for his wedding, and I definitely won't perform naked and greased for anyone but European royalty."
4. "No, JB, the purple shoes don't make you look ghey. Everything you have ever done in your entire life makes you look ghey."
5. "Sorry, Marilyn Manson, I don't have any spare change."
Best of Double the U But Mom, these shoes don't make me look stupid enough.... I wanted Crocks.
Best of Spineless Vertebrae "Amy Winehouse! She lives!"
Best of Jack Reacher "Some nimrod is suing me, I got a stone in my shoe, and now you want me to buy term papers? What? Oh, you just want to go to Old Navy. What the hell, Dawn?"
Best of Dr. Doom "Dang it Cher", cried an exasperated Justin, "I don't care if you have to inject your face with virgin's blood twice a year. Leave me alone!"
Best of dadoctah The one memorable encounter in Nadia Suleman's new reality show.
Best of Submariner For the last time; No, Mr. Tyler - I don't want to do a National Anthem duet with you!
Best of prince of leaves An instant before the "bath salts" took effect.
Best of Carpe Phlogiston THERE you are! Where have you been?? I dunno! I think somebody slipped a rufie into my drink at the press conference. Next thing I remember, I'm standing here wearing 1 shoe and feeling very used.