1. Sir Elton required a very specially trained seeing eye dog.
2. "Don't worry, I won't let Obama eat you. Now, ignite my fart and we'll rocket out of here."
3. "I notice you're carrying a lot of tension in your shoulders..."
4. That hat looks really gay on you, but the dog... well, that's a whole 'nother level."
5. "Not now, Charlie. I dropped a contact lens."
Best of Mr. Obvious
How do you like your sex?
Best of Carpe Phlogiston
Couldn't find a little black kid to wear on your back?
Best of Submariner
Y'all are really mean. Camilla was just trying to help Sir Elton get his testicles to drop...
Best of dadoctah
"And now", thought Bernie as he looked on, "everybody knows exactly what 'The Bitch Is Back' was *really* about."