Monday, April 23, 2012

Keefums Is Wonewy

A Lonely and Abandoned Queef Olberman Tries to Find Meaning in a Cold, Heartless World.


1. "And she's the Worst Person in the World... And *he's* the worst person in the world... and that squirrel is the worst person in the world." Olberdouche plays his own version of "I'm crushing your head."

 2. Unable to accept reality, Keith plans a special episode of 'Countdown' devoting to denouncing the barrista who charged him for an extra shot in his espresso.

3. Sorry Olbie, the pregnant man bit has been done already.


Best of blue 
Hey sailor, buy me a drink?


Best of GregMan 
"If only I had a bigger p3nis..."


Best of dadoctah 
Nancy Grace manages to find *one* missing child, and it's *this* one?

Best of prince of leaves 
Seconds later a Romulan disruptor suddenly vaporized Olberman, while leaving his nearby friends unharmed and not a little relieved to be rid of him.

Best of Cat Whisperer 
During the few hours that he wandered dejectedly around Central Park, Keith Olberman achieved a higher viewing audience than the total number of “Countdown” viewers throughout the ten year history of the show.

Threadwinner: Submariner 
...and then it hit him; Internet Essay Writing! That was a sure-fire way to replace his broadcast journalism income!

Best of Snowdog 
ORA: "Seems like no one takes me serirousry/And so I'm ronery/Yeah, a rittle ronery/Poor rittle me."

19 comments:

blue said...

Hey sailor, buy me a drink?

blue said...

How do I get men to shove dollars into my diaper?

Shayne said...

Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, son.

GregMan said...

"If only I had a bigger p3nis..."

GregMan said...

"(*^#@ Sarah Palin. And *&@! Neo-Cons. And *#@&! Fox News. They hate me. They ALL hate me. And #@&*(@ Christians. And &^$*! Michelle Malkin. *$!#*#^. #*&@!"

Queef spends a few minutes in quiet contemplation.

Double the U said...

And even less people watched him.

dadoctah said...

Nancy Grace manages to find *one* missing child, and it's *this* one?

prince of leaves said...

Seconds later a Romulan disruptor suddenly vaporized Olberman, while leaving his nearby friends unharmed and not a little relieved to be rid of him.

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Cat Whisperer said...

During the few hours that he wandered dejectedly around Central Park, Keith Olberman achieved a higher viewing audience than the total number of “Countdown” viewers throughout the ten year history of the show.

Jack Reacher said...

Little Red Whining Hood.

Submariner said...

...and then it hit him; Internet Essay Writing! That was a sure-fire way to replace his broadcast journalism income!

Submariner said...

Thawt bubble; "... ..."

sonicfrog said...

ORA: He didn't really get the Aristocrats joke.

Jack Reacher said...

"I'm smart enough, I'm good enough, and doggone it, people like me."

Snowdog said...

ORA: "Seems like no one takes me serirousry/And so I'm ronery/Yeah, a rittle ronery/Poor rittle me."

Submariner said...

Not so ORA to the monors:

Thawt bubble: "They wouldn';r have done that to Randolph Scott..."

Submariner said...

Thawt bubble: "Wonder if I burned my bridges at ESPN, too?"