Sunday, April 08, 2012

Election Year Church Expedition


1. "And after church, we're all going out for Skittles and Iced Tea."

2. "Hey, Allahu Ak... I mean Happy, um, what is it, Easter?"

3. "Daddy, you said there'd be crackers at the church, but all there were were some dumb pieces of bread."

4. "I miss Reverend Wright's Easter services... like when he talked about nailing white people to the cross. Remember that daddy?"

5. "Man, if that sermon was only a quarter right, we're all in deep shit."

6. "So, how much money did you 'redistribute' from the collection plate, daddy?"

7. M'Chel: "Boy, I'ma be so glad when that shit is over with for another four years. I need a vacation!"

8. "Daddy, why wasn't the cross in that church hanging upside down over a pentagram soaked in pig's blood like the one at DNC headquarters?"

9. "Just sayin', daddy, that was a real cheap ass gift you left for Mr. and Mr. Barney Frank."

10. "Daddy, don't be silly, Mommy's not sucking c-cks in Hell, she's right here."



Best of blue
Daddy, I'm pregnant and the father is this boy from Florida that I met in Mexico named Trayvon.....

Best of  Censors Hip
Daddy, did the Easter Bunny really vote for you?

Best of blue
da four Obama girls our for a walk

Best of  GregMan
"Daddy, why did that preacher keep pointing at you when he was talking about the Anti-Christ?"

11 comments:

blue said...

Daddy, I'm pregnant and the father is this boy from Florida that I met in Mexico named Trayvon.....

Chronos the Wonder Pig said...

Everybody holding hands but the Mr & Mrs.......

Censors Hip said...

Daddy, did the Easter Bunny really vote for you?

Jack Reacher said...

"Just smile, and it will all be over soon. That's what I kept thinking on the night your mama and I got married."

Carpe Phlogiston said...

@Chronos- She probably won't let him get near her purse. He's black, you know. I hear there's a stereotype going around.

-OR-

Girls, in the old days, the missionaries used to come to us. Sometimes we had them for lunch. Literally.

blue said...

da four Obama girls our for a walk

Cat Whisperer said...

“Oops, I’m being photographed leaving a Christian church! I’ll have to let Iran get the bomb to make up for my apostasy.”

Cat Whisperer said...

Also it looks like the First Dog left pawprints all over the First Lady’s dress.

GregMan said...

"Daddy, why did that preacher keep pointing at you when he was talking about the Anti-Christ?"

GregMan said...

"Daddy, will they have a human sacrifice here like our regular Church of Dagon?"

Dr. Doom said...

POTUS: "Wow, Reverend Wright really gives a great sermon!"
FLOTUS: "Yeah, especially that part about Amerikkka's buzzards coming home to roost - what do you suppose he meant by that?"