Wednesday, March 07, 2012

Soylent Pink

Your Government's idea of a healthy school lunch component.



1. Soylent Pink is made out of Government Subsidized Meat Components; and also probably people.

2. Dudley Moore and his fellow mental patients came up with the winning slogan, 'Soylent Pink; Made From the Worst Stuff on Earth'

3. If 'Hello Kitty' could take a crap, it would look like this.

4. "Has anyone seen my albino boa constrictor?"

5. Now that you've seen one of her yeast infections, you know why Sandra Fluke needs a thousand dollars a year to care for her ladyparts.

Best of Rodney Dill
How was the colon cleanse Sully?

Best of dadoctah
Unicorn poop!

Best of Cat Whisperer
Despite having no idea what it is, President Obama signed an Executive Order today requiring all automobiles to get 60 miles per gallon of Pink Slime by the year 2018.

Best of Submariner
Binge and purge night Rosie's abode was not for the squeamish...

Best of Submariner
Momma always told me that would happen if I kept forcin' farts!

Best of Dactyl
Three words: High. Fiber. Diet.

Best of GregMan
Dammit, get the federal government to buy Sandra Fluke some tampons already.

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
Upton Sinclair is spinning in his grave, moaning, "I told you not to look!"

Best of prince of leaves
ToonTown's panther sausage fad was of necessity very short-lived.

20 comments:

Rodney Dill said...

How was the colon cleanse Sully?

dadoctah said...

Unicorn poop!

Carpe Phlogiston said...

This is comfort food?

-OR-

You are what you eat.

-OR-

Just remember: The way the earth's population is exploding, when your grandkids are foraging for cockroaches and edible twigs, you'll fondly refer to pink slime as part of "the good old days."

-OR-

What should really bother patrons is wondering what McDonald's uses as an extender now that they've stopped using pink slime.

-OR-

Looks like the food police weren't so far off calling fast food CRAP, were they?

Cat Whisperer said...

Despite having no idea what it is, President Obama signed an Executive Order today requiring all automobiles to get 60 miles per gallon of Pink Slime by the year 2018.

Submariner said...

Binge and purge night Rosie's abode was not for the squeamish...

Submariner said...

Momma always told me that would happen if I kept forcin' farts!

Submariner said...

Gesundheit!

Dactyl said...

Three words: High. Fiber. Diet.

dadoctah said...

If I wasn't already, this has put me completely off Peeps.

Spin said...

The day right-wing christianist stopped handling serpents.

GregMan said...

Dammit, get the federal government to buy Sandra Fluke some tampons already.

GregMan said...

Is that what it looks like going in, or coming out? Or both?

Spin said...

"DON"T SHOW US THE PINK"

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Upton Sinclair is spinning in his grave, moaning, "I told you not to look!"

J.G. Saxe: “Laws, like sausages, cease to inspire respect in proportion as we know how they are made.”

racerboy said...

ORA: "Things you eat with eggs...

Mmm - fiberglass."

prince of leaves said...

ToonTown's panther sausage fad was of necessity very short-lived.

Dr. Doom said...

This is a perfect metaphor for liberal motivations - warm and pink and fuzzy, and not good for much...

Carpe Phlogiston said...

The restaurant's business still hasn't recovered to pre-pink slime exposé levels. Sadly, neither have many of the hospitalized and traumatized patrons forming the class action suit.

-OR-

Government Standards Motto - What won't flat out kill you will make our corporate cronies stronger.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Doctor, Mrs. Thronwaith keeps asking if her husband will survive.
Don't know, yet, Nurse Cratchett. All this plaque came out of his right coronary artery. We haven't started on the left. What the hell's she been feeding him? Pure lard?

-OR-

Tort Reform- Just what the doctor ordered. NOT.
As you can see, gentlemen, our new tunneling liposuctionator worked like a charm. Miss Muffyntopp is now a svelt 32 pounds.
32 POUNDS??? WTF??
Pssst... Doctor. Miss M was here for a face peel. Mrs. Slank was scheduled for lipo.
Ruh roh. She did look a bit bony when we were done. Call my attorney will ya?

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Things Dairy Queen managers hate to hear:
1. "Boss, CODE 9! Ted just lost a thumb in the vanilla soft serve hopper!"
2. "Hey, anyone seen that new kid? I sent him to clean the intake churning screw assembly."
3. "When did we start selling strawberry?"